Came out to my backyard. It has been heavy rains, strong winds, and partly a real storm here now for a few days. Winds so strong you hear it slapping the trees around. Rain so heavy it works like a powerwash for your car. And then I see the destruction all the weather has done and I laugh. I laugh so hard I have to run to toilet while laughing. People are stupid and arrogant. Or forgetful? People actually never learn that if you lost once the roof of your house during the autumn storm its better not to make the same kind of roof. You know? Because it is pretty sure to be another storm like that, and even more, its blody sure will be much stronger storm every year forward. No? So here I am, laughing. Laughing of my self. Though I did not forget nor am I arrogant. I just did not expect the storms to hit that early. Well, fuck it. Will just make sure it doesnt fly out to the road or to neighbours yard. And make solstice fire next summer. Fuck it. Fuck all. Fuck therapy. Using the F word as much as possible to let the steam off. We used to do the cursing therapy with mom back in the day pretty often. Because life here is tough and when no relieve you start to make more and more mistakes. Stupid mistakes, driven by desperation. Like taking in strangers to live in spare room, or taking the small but extremely expensive credit, or telling someone off for no reason at all. All while trying to make it look like your life is ok. Pretending all is ok, but just the closest know you are deeply fucked. Its a mixture of shame, desperation. Its a horrible place to be. I need that therapy now. 

I go to forest, to a place where I am sure nobody is. Except animals ofcourse. Then I do some deep breathing, in and out, very deep, up to the point when my head is lightweight and the world starts spinning. I know most people dont know that you can get high without any drugs :). I know many ways to get high without drugs. I have been so high in life but I have NEVER ever done ANY drug. Anyways, then you take a deep breath, as deep as you can and scream with all your might ALL the curse words you know. All one after another. You can repeat as much as you feel like you need. With stormy weather I often go to seaside to do the same therapy. Then, at least here, I am sure nobody can hear as there is nobody around. With strong winds your yelling sort of dissapears into the air.

I know there are not many wild places in most of the world where one can do that therapy. I Paris or Amsterdam you sure would be transported to a soft panelled small room and kind people help you to put on the funny shirt with oddly long sleeves…. I therefore invite you to visit me 😉 or I can point out to you some of the countries with wast forested areas and you can go check them out. The relief after such therapy is immense. I know it sounds real stupid, but I guarantee, if done with all your might, you will cleanse yourself from all the possible negative. Both physically and emotionally. You will feel lighter, and sort of cleaner as you let out all the dirty words together with stressful emotions. Highly recommend! 

New rules for surviving the tough winter here. To stop being sorry for yourself live by the slogan: Who needs a sunshine when there is moonshine! So I welcome everyone to come to visit me as soon as possible 😉 and hint – bring a rum with you, or something with 60 particles of alcohol in it. Can be tiramisu also ;), the very adult variant! I invite you because I only have wise words and a spare bed to offer, nothing else. I can feed you if you bring the goods, I can drive you around and show you sights if you fill up the tank. I can be your personal assistant throughout your visit here. I will show you how people live and have survived here throughout centuries. Ask a question and I will answer. If I dont know the answer, I will find you the answer. 

I just fed the wild stray cats that run around my home in the village. The most I have seen at once was nine cats in various ages and one hedgehog. The smallest cats are two months old. The very old one seems more than ten years old, he is angry, half blind and limping. The toughest one, he is telling me off when I put the meat for him :). I understand him. He is stating viciously how dumb people are, bastards, and motherfuckers kicked him out years ago and not feeding him on demand. And I am bad because I dont feed him every day. So he is telling me off. But eating with rather pleased face. Crumpy old puss. I see already one stripy young female is pregnant. Again. Damn it. Damn stupind people. They let them cats roam, not taking them to vet to to the snip-snip and the blody cats population doubles every fucking four or five months. I am sure this stripy young cat had babies in the spring. I have one of her kids at home, one that I resqued. The kitten had both eyes closed due to infection, all covered in puss, so he could not see me. And he did not actually fight either because they were all so hungry. I let them eat, then grab, and put to a box for transportation. He is about 6 or 7 months now, rather dumb but I keep on training him. He has incredibly soft fur and very nice stripy pattern. The other one that I resqued is pitch black, she is now 3 months old. Funny little creature, also dumb as fuck as she keeps on pissing on bed. Even though mostly uses toilet properly, in some moments suddenly doesnt know where the toilet is. Blody hell. So I have two small ones to train separately and then I have to train them to be together too. So far they treat eachother like live feed, trying to cut throats of eachother. So I sit with them in my bathroom, door closed, for hours in, eye on them, petting them together, play with them, put noses together, showing they are not food… Its been some weeks now, small steps but I see some progress already.  

So my dear readers, 

sharing is caring –  the more there are readers the bigger the chance that the reason for the blog to come to life – Johnny Depp – will one day read it.

Awaiting at themaddesthattereverseen@gmail.com

Love and all

Stay warm 

XOXOX