Hello, people! From the windy and colourful autumn, I call you up to take a walk on beach or in forest, stroll a little in order to support your mental health. Even mere 30 minutes in the fresh air (yes, I know its not much fresh in some parts of the world…) makes you feel much better. 

I came across one video where some arrogantly sounding gypsy-like guy yapping about all women being second rated humans – only for fucking, and being pretty, and servicing men. On first spot, yes, you have guessed it right – in his idea, the only value adding people are men. Well, maybe in his primitive world it is so. If his brain functions are in such level, then god bless, he is still alive even when being so primitive. Good on him. Evolution has gained with medical miracles, but, as everything in the world! has also lost a lot. Some hundred(s) of years ago the weak died, the stupid worked til evidentally early death. Ofcourse, the smart ones were either extremely poor, the commoners, the artists etc…. or extremely successful. Interesting times. That strange fact, that many men figured and still believe women are secondary people, still amazes me. I mean, the fact that one idiot is telling this out loud, thats the amazing part. And he makes it look as if everyone in the world is guilty of him not getting any ;). I understand the frustration and pain 😉 . Maybe someone could give him a mirror and play his videos, there is a chance he realises how disgusting and horrible his texts are. But sure, there are pretty biches that qualify for this arrogant gypsy – the ones with plastic nails, plastic boobs, plastic asses and glued on eyelashes and hair, and as a cherry on top – IQ of a tablecloth. You know these. The numb look and empty eyes. 

Anyways, today I say I am a mean bitch. And I apparently have a lot of testosterone 😉 because I am fulfilling all tasks and all roles all alone. All roles but significant other and daughter and grandmother. Everything else I do – woman in the house, man in the house, chef, teacher, manager, singer, builder, handyman. Come to think about it – no man ever invested into me just because. You know, without any reason. Like just bringing me flowers or so, without any reason, without wanting something in return. Come to think about it…. they all wanted something in return. The sad thing is the equasion was not equal at all. Most incoherent people would agree that if woman is paying for fancy restaurant, taxi, even clothes for him… that the play would be as she wants. If she wants this lucky guy not to live with her in her home – would that be considered arrogance? She got nice evening, she paid for it. What the hell now with this sleasy bastard wanting to get some in bedroom? Hell no, I am wasted and do not do sex when drunk. My head is rotating without any additional help. From the surprised look I gather I am the first ever to decline “drunk-sexing”. Funny fact that is if its true. Because I have zero interest in hassling with anything else than my pillow, my bed and my covers. Anything else is not interesting at all. Hell, I cant even keep my eyes open, what sex!?

There was a funny story. As my work is (or was!) physically challenging as I have to be outside no matter whats coming down from the skies, I tend to be exhausted by the time I get home. On average I arrive at about 19. Which is late for anything. But. I first get off my gear and usually have to heat up somehow (hence the winter here is on average -10 to -25C). The best is to run a bath. Several occasions I have fallen asleep in the bath, I know, dangerous. Its the result of 10 to 18 hours workdays. One year I kept a log – I worked nonstop, without any day off 72 days straight. All weekends, all days. That was slightly less than that of my record – 92 days straight without break. These bursts of work are always in winter, starting some time around October, carry through Xmas and New Years eve, all the way up to early spring. I havent have Xmas or any break at winter for 17 years. Oh, I lied, I have had presents under the tree ofcourse, and once had dinner at home too. Haha, and even so, working like that …. shoud bring some joy? Yeah, once in 17 years time. Ok, I had a few dinners with friends too. Three dinners. A looooong time ago. These were fun, in fancy restaurants, all dressed up and pretty. …. and I finally come to the funny story I was about to write: you see, the long hours outside in winter, even one workday makes you deadly tired. So one time I came home. I had boyfriend then. I stumble to bath, fall asleep there, wake up, climb to bed. He is all “awake and ready” and, obviously, thinks I am desperate to get some as I do fuckall day in day out. He starts fiddeling down there and I guess I say something couraging. I wake up in the morning. He laughs and tells me how loud I snored when he was busy entertaining me at night. He asked if he really is that bad in bed that I actually fell asleep 😉 You see, totally unaware of my work, huge stresslevels, the constant surviving mode.

yes bitch, I am.

Exhausted now. Was at dentist today. Its no pain but the Xray shows some inflammatory stuff in the jaw yet. So the doc put some meds into the tooth or root or so and plastered it up with some cement ;). All good except this blody thing is leaking and the taste, let me tell you, is like some gnom died in your mouth. Months ago in a heatwave……….

Stay warm and cool,

Johnny Depp: penpal awaits: themaddesthattereverseen@gmail.com