Celebrating summer, love, birds, blue skies, and, foremost – school is out for summer! Just like Alice Coopers song! Kept the celebration decent, which is easy for me in daylight ;). Indulged in a real nice sea-side restaurant, with lovely creations coming out of kitchen and fine selection of really nice wines. Had a blast! I love this place as it’s right on the beach and they are among the top 5 restaurants in our country. I just love it there! Sort of obsessed really, going too often there ending up knowing their own menu better than the staff :). Watching some kids play in sand and in the sea!, ferries and cruise liners passing by, sipping bubbly and sunbathing. Gorgeous day!

But that very same day made me realise how I miss adult conversatsions, fun talks, fun walks, holding hand or just sitting in silence doing nothing. Saying nothing. And still knowing it all. I miss knowing what is said without words. This divine connection between two people. When you are in different countries you know exactly what the other one is doing. I have had it in my life. But, as the faith has it, not always meant to last. Which is pity as you sort of feel that you have wasted time. Really painful. A lot of time infact. Years! Bittersweet realisation. When you realise the other person wasn’t really into it. Wasn’t really into you. Such a sad mix of emotions, with huge part of it telling you are useless, not wanted, not loved. Well, and you think…. at least I had fun, we had fun while it lasted. 

Even though you used me all the possible and impossible ways. For instance I gave you money to get rid of debts. And you went and bought car to your ex with this money. Which means the debt remained. And you were upset that I dumped you after I found out of this fancy gift you made to your ex. You played it like it’s my fault, my guilt :). That was a fun play. Didn’t think there are such men outside! But now I have seen it all. 

Has been some time since I last was out. It has been ages since I was out out. Really out, with dancing and drinking and singing-screaming lungs out. Kinda miss a good night out. But ofcourse don’t miss the next morning much. In advance already. But I am well prepared and waiting! Now some concerts coming up, Megadeth and Scorpions and Till Lindemann and I think to myself, hell, I will take max out of all cultural events coming up. Even without holding hands! I can do everything alone. Hell, I have done everything alone! Just sometimes there is this crippling feeling of getting fed up fighting alone. I just want to share. My life. Sort of. Without any strings attached. Just to see where it goes. Like a river. Just wonder out and see where you end up. And with whom. Sure I have an idea of who the “whom” would be, as the reader here knows too. That’s like a distant dream that will never come true. But it’s still a good dream. Someone told long ago dreams are a must. They are the inner power to get you going and keep you going. Especially the horror dreams or nightmares :).

So here I am. Sunbathing nude in my garden. Broad daylight. Sort of working day for all the common people. I am writing this with my head in the shade and the rest of me in the sun. A real pro I say! Wild birds never shut up, they kept me up whole night yesterday and it seemed the sun never went down either. The birds are so cool and used to me being around they come pretty close to me. Like few feet away. So I put them a little saucers with water out because it’s now peak of heat for few weeks. Hasn’t rained at all for a month. All grass is burned and most households can not use drinking water to save their gardens. I, however, have no drinking water at my place yet. So I can water all my garden and nobody can tell me off or give me ticket. I have a lake at my garden. Which doesn’t mean I let the water run non stop, no, I just have my flowers watered at night. And pray to Thor to get some rain soon. He loves me, so he will be around soon. He loves all blondes busty chicks sunbathing naked. What normal man doesn’t? So I have prepped good for him to hear my prayers :). Any day now.

The out out thing tho. I probably will have to get my ass to London or Berlin or even Vienna. Or Amsterdam. These places are good for incognito strolling around and being naughty. Not that I am much naughty but I like when nobody knows me. There is ofcourse the chance that I run into a fellow countryperson. I always have. But then I keep quiet and pretend I don’t understand a word they say. I prefer new people, new views on life, new information. 

So now in few days officially the summer starts. I haven’t even sawn (whats the word for putting potatoes into ground?) potatoes yet. Such a mighty manager of my houshold. Frostbite took all my tomatoes, apples, pears, cherries. Probably a strong hint from invisible forces to cut down on eating 🙂

Anyways, tuuduluu to everyone, keep warm and cool,

Love to all,

May all have only good things happening,

Slava Ukraini!