There is crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in

I suddenly needed to watch some ol’ times favourite movies. Really wanted something funny, with snow, fish, hilarious dialog. So, ofcourse I dug up Grumpy old men with forever hot Walter Matthau and even hotter Jack Lemmon. I usually can’t sleep well so midnight to wee hours of the morning I sometimes either write this blog or watch some movies. I used to watch every new movie coming out in cinemas but that was some time ago. Now, after covid magic I got used to watching movies at home. I can have beer, snacks, toilet, everything at hand. And I don’t have to sit :)! And I certainly can just pick a movie, watch it, change it, watch again, watch til morning or just fall asleep in the middle of it. Anyways, I run bath, added lavendel foam, poured a megapint of wine and watched the movie while floating in bath. Only thing missing was the massage. These old movies were better than todays movies in their buildup, in their characters, acting skills, everything! I have seen some major shite coming up, poor acting, poor scenario, poor everything. Also, seems humor is gone today. But that’s another two kilometres of moaning online. 

So the good ol’ movies. I watched, laughed so hard tears were running down my cheeks. Even though I know ever scene, every word, it was still like new! Putz! In a bliss from the energy I got from the two old grumpy farts I figured I need even older movie, so I looked up the Some like it hot. Poured another megapint, climbed out of bath and watched Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis playing the best gals ever played on the screen. They both play so well when I first saw the movie decades ago as a child I did not understand that these were men even! It was first time we saw anything like that! Cross dressing! Pretending to be a woman! My dad laughed so hard, I was confused of the movie. I could not understand how there were first men and then they ran, and then they turned out women. You see I as a child thought movies were like life, just one guy running and filming. Only when my sis asked, so how come the night goes by so fast, they barely sleep. That made me think. I remember staring at the black and white TV set and thinking how they survive without toilets, without sleep, especially that trainride bit. They were in train, partying, and then next moment already awake playing and singing. I did not understand that. I then took all the movies and TV thing as magic. Cartoons I understood better. I figured someone drawing pictures and flashing the pictures in a fast manner. But how real people got into the TV was beyond me. I remember I tried to see inside the TV, there were some bulbs, some aluminium bits, some heat coming when it was working. But no people. 

They allowed to show some “western” movies in Soviet union. Somehow Some like it hot passed the censors and we saw it probably once every year. The same way we saw The sound of music, which we related much more while being under the occupation. Strange this movie passed though. Probably their idea was that Germans were shown bad in there, somewhat. For us ofcourse, we were suspicous why this movie was allowed. Because we kept on hiding and running from ruzzkies. From the birth we knew we have to nod and agree with everything in order to stay alive. However, the moment ruzzkies turned around we did the opposite. Come to think of it we were trained to be the biggest cheats from the first moment of our lives! I am amazed I can actually be without lies, cheating, pretending. It was so deep within ourselves, every day. Like living dual, parallel lives at ones. Constantly. All were listed in the list of black or white. Or red and blue. Red was ruzzkies, ofcourse. Blood, killings, occupying, forcing. Blue was us, peace, commoners, subdued, forced.

Tony Curtis was my first celebrity crush. Just check his eyes and you will know why. Or maybe you don’t see what I see in people. There is this specific way of moving, specific manners, one particular defining charisma everyone born in Gemini sign carry. I can recognise Gemini in an instant. They pulling me with such force. Probalbly pulling a lot of people with their charisma :). My first love was/ is Gemini, very charismatic, showman, energetic, action every day, singing, competing in Olympics, you name it. Maybe a dash of it all due to being born in Soviet union as we all had to survive within this endless deceit. 

Different people but the eyes are the same. Eyes tell a story without a single word being said. I wonder if it’s really so that we all are related. Groups of people, whole countries of people. Like huge family. Relatives!!! That’s the word Johnny Depp uses :)!!! Haah, one should watch out and not hunt too close to own home then, to avoid inbreeding! That would make the minimum distance say…. a country in Europe, a state in US? Just in case. Though there is a rumour my dad had a fling in Portugal when he was going around the world. And there, as he claims, is a girl just like me, about the same age as me, and with black hair. He must have been daydreaming telling these stories…. But you never know, as he was a damn handsome man! 

I must have been madam in one of my previous lives. When the men were of iron and the ships were of wood. As a child I saw one dream, vivid, colourful, constantly. I saw myself working, singing, dancing in a taverna looking place in portugese port. Sailors, full house. Me shouting and singing, pouring rum. Dancing on the table. Had the red flamenco dress on. Men giving me money to keep me singing and keep the rum pouring. This setting was so vivid I remember exactly how the room looked like, where the tables were, the stairs to upstairs sleeping quarters was to my right. The tablecloths, the smoke so heavy. Even candles! And that joint was mine. I owned it and ran it, and I was filthy rich, and I had ladies working for me. That must have been somewhere 16-17th century. Could anyone take me back there? Is that the place I knew rum taste and smell from? Is that’s the reason I recognised it immediately as a teenager, first time ever tried rum and I knew…. Probably will never know for sure. Only mesmerising memories of the trip to Malta first time and recognising the streets, houses, harbours and smells there spooked me up to another level. Still in awe because I know exactly where to turn left, right, whats ahead. Have I been travelling in sleep or is it really memories from past lives. Anyone?

Stay cool and warm. 

Now winter coming up, hygge, mulled wine, old movies and warm slippers are in season. Be ready!