I will just start with the rather bad bit that I did not manage to get into the chapter 78. I must say in advance that I have had the same experience for many times within the decades I have worked in the highly or exclusively male held position. I am the only female in this field in my homecountry and, to be honest, I do not know any females in my field in whole Europe. Which does not mean there are none in Europe, it means I have not met them throughout the years and it could be that I am the only one. However, this is just to explain the position that I am in without betraying the specific field I am working. So to spare the time and looking for the details from last post: I am the only female in my field, only local, only one who can speak local. It is physically demanding work. All my colleagues are russian speaking (yes, without capital letter, in purpose) males.

Due to the orcs war in Ukraine my workload has decreased immensly. But I have some orders that I have to now fulfill myself instead of sending some of my staff to do that. So I actually like the fieldwork every now and then. The tought part is that my work is outside no matter what time of the year it is. It’s freezing in winter, heavy winds, within two hours I could freeze to the point that I am minutes away from frostbite. The worst ever happened to me I ended up in a surgery for cleaning up my abdominal cavity from 2 kilos of puss that got there after my tubes exploded. And they exploded due to me having feet frozen for three or four days straight. I got severe cold damages and the female reproduction bits got inflammation. That was horrible. I celebrate my second Birthday on 6th of February. I also have my skin on my face peeled off many times, at least once every winter. That’s my secret beauty regime 🙂 

So last week I went to work as usual. 3 pairs of pants including merino long Johns, 2 pairs of socks, 2 jackets, vest, pullover, merino body, scarves, hat, gloves. All set. 

You might know the few details from earlier but just in case you are new here I repeat the vital points here once more. There is no drinking of any kind at my work. For me that is. Because there is no toilet that I can get to fast enough. I can not leave my spot at any time except smoking breaks the guys have. These breaks are 15 minutes long. I could, in theory, make it to the toilet, but I have given up on it. The setting is all male so I have no place to put my clothes that I have to take off all my jackets and pullovers and vests because I have the skiing pants on suspenders. Men have to just unzip. By the time I get all clothes off I have to hold them somehow with one hand or something while head banging on the door that is just barely 50 centimetres from the toiletseat. I can not put my clothes on floor because it’s covered with dirt and piss. 

So no drinking for me of any kind on workdays. 

And then the days come. The most treasured days of pink tax. For better understanding a few more details. I usually don’t use underwear. I only use it on the tax days 🙂  So I have a few pairs of grannys type. I prepare for a horror. Because I know I can’t go to toilet. I line undies with some thing I don’t know the name of. Sort of pampers for ladies. Pad or rag or what they are called. It has some glue stripes on it and it sticks to undies, and then it has also sort of a wings that supposed to keep the thingy in place. This things come in different sizes or so, I guess, I really don’t use these at all except when the workday happens to be on THAT day. Or THESE days. I despise shopping so I just grabbed some that looked suitable. They are huge, a whole foot long if not more. And it feels like pillow is tucked into your pants. And you waddle along like penguin. Extremely uncomfortable to say the least. So I have this lined and done. Last moment before leaving home I also put the usual tampon in, the biggest you can get. This is one reason I don’t use underwear – everything happens inside. 

So for the last weeks horror day that took me a few days to recover. I am prepared as good as I can. I figured the tampon will only last for 2 hours because it’s stand up job and heavy physical tasks every now and then. I drive to work for about 45 minutes. So on site I have good 1.5 hours, maybe 2. After the tampon is full the magic pillow stuffed up my pants would do the job. I am all covered. And then I will use the 30 minutes lunchbreak at noon to get to toilet and do some tricks with my clothes there and change tampon and maybe also the magic pillow.

All works out fine. By lunchtime the magic pillow is still intact. I run to toilet, put my clothes into sink, do my thing. I change tampon which was already giving signs of leakage in no time. It’s a feeling you losing something soon, ladies will know maybe. Cleaned up, dressed up, I even had half frozen banana on the way. No stopping, no sitting, no no no none like that. I eat on the go, literally, walking and eating. Pretty pleased with myself! I was afraid of much worse. Because it has been worse many times!

But the workday was not over. I had at least 4 hours to go, maybe 5. Usually we end the day at about 16. Chill. Doing my thing. It’s fucking freezing. Not even the temperature that is freezing, just mere -4C, but the winds from the sea cut my face like hundreds of razorblades. I pray they quit at 4 as usually. This way I could get away clean. Literally clean. Because there is no more toilet for me! And today that is the flow day. The flow day means I usually just lay in bed whole day and only get up to go to toilet. It’s like Niagara. I change tampon every 1 or 2 hours. That is just one day like that. And today is that day. So I know my tampon will be good for max 2 hours. That’s til 2 o’clock. After that I count on the magic pillow to keep me safe for another 2-3 hours. And then I will be home.

Booooy, how wrong was I. The guys wanted or decided or for what ever point they took…. decided to work “until completed”. From what I could see we had yet to do it all looked like another hour worth of work. I think I was slightly grey from face by that time. Lost all blood. But I nodded in agreement because in this field of work there is no difference or no save if I would object. I mean, I would have to come back next day to complete. I don’t like to go to work for one hour only, so I agreed to complete. I knew then and there I will be in trouble. Or my pants will be. 

Half an hour after we decided to complete the tasks…. I am frozen to icicle. Half an hour can make a big difference. The winds took up and were blowing so hard I think it’s called blizzard. I turn my back to it all to save my face. Water is running down my face. Probably some tears too. I hate my life. My feet are frozen. Damn, how can it be, they were ok just 30 minutes ago! Now everything sucks. Suddenly every detail is devil. I take napkin and dry my face so I can see – which is what I am paid for. I see all the guys hate that we decided to stay til the end. Well, they also know if we would not be doing it now we would have to come back tomorrow. For one hour. Drive one hour in, do one hour work, drive one hour out. 3 hours for a joke of money.

My tampon gave up two hours ago, just as I knew it would. It did not give up, it got full. I feel it’s leaking. It is not pleasant feeling. Luckily the magic pillow holds it all together. It’s leaking in waves, as I walk or as I do the pushing motion or pulling or any of the physical bits. It’s bursting out. Disgusted. I know with this rate of leakage I might not make it home. I already figure out I need plastic bag to cover my seat or that will be destroyed aswell. I have plastic bags in my car, as part of my tools for the work. So that’s covered. I keep my back to the winds when suddenly I feel tickling in my nose and before I can do anything I sneeze. Was an excellent sneeze! Opened my airways nicely! I blow my nose and think in horror that this is it. It has never been so bad. The excellent sneeze shook me so well that the uterus pushed out a gallon of blood so the magic pillow could not take it. It all slowly flooded over the edges of the magic pillow. Down the thighs. I am counting the amount of washing I have to do. Merino wool does not go with skiing pants. I figure I have to do washing today if I need to get to work tomorrow. No, I decide. These will not be dry for tomorrow. I feel the warmth running down. It’s on the left leg, already all the way down to my knees. Perfect, I think, I can sit in the car sort of sideways, so to make sure the seat remains clean. Oh no, I grab my nose but second sneeze beat me. Anothe gushing pulsing bloodstream running down in my fancy merino long Johns. Yummy! I am living my best life!

They complete at about 18. I am frozen. My feet hurt, my face hurts, my back feels like burning in pain. I have not been on field for few months, so I have not been standing up 10 hours straight outside in winter. Ofcourse my back is giving up. I have blood icycles in my pants. I nod to goodby. I am pissed of on everything. I think it shows. I rarely am angry, maybe once in few years. Now nobody dares to talk to me even. Usually they are all very chatty. I waddle to my car. On the way thinking what to do. No point to go to toilet, there is nothing to be saved. Better try to get home and deal with this nightmare there. 

Good lord, it’s a crime scene. It has reached my boots. I am weak from loss of blood, take the pills I have for anemia. I am barely alive. I put some to wash, some to soak. I ran myself bath and fall asleep in the bath. Again. I know. I wake up when I snore. Drag myself out, take paracetamol, climb into bed and switch off.

I say the magic pillow ain’t no magic after all. What’t that thing that does not last a proper workday even 😦 

Sweet dreams

Will celebrate one of my Bdays on Tuesday

The real Bday probably will be in Nizza, can’t wait!

Love and all

XOXOX