jubileum! Time to celebrate! Hiphip hoorayyy!

A whole hundred times I have had feeling that I have something to say and taken up writing about it. Here. Into space unknown. So I had a beer. Ok, two. To celebrate and that turned into one boring chapter of nothing. Decided to have a break and see if I have something sound to say next day…. No, next day just passed by. Another beer. As for dinner. Isn’t it normal to not have any friends nearby to just pop in and, I don’t know, ask for salt or something? I have nobody, no friends, no family anywhere close. I don’t miss them per se. I only would like to go out for a nice dinner in a nice fancy restaurant. Have a wine, or two, oysters, octopus, or any other seafood (preferrably), chat the night away and have a decent restart of my brain. Something happy. For once? Is it too much to ask, I wonder. I think I will just go alone, make some tiktoks, watch some comedy and enjoy my dinner. In few weeks time the seasonal staff will start to recognise me…. ah, here comes that one again, they shall think, giving a distinct sad nod towards me. It’s not that many excellent restaurants here. I am mainly looking for view in addition to sublime food. View means either seaside, glassy and airy rooftop or something chaotic and busy in oldtown. 

Well, that’s me being useless. But I am useless for a reason. Orders shrinking in awful speed. I actually have only one order for work, a days work worth just 160Eur. And that’s it. Imagine. Going for whole summer without zero income visible. 

Car is in repairs, again. Only costs. The insurance only covers part of it. 

Phone died, not charging anymore, nothing, zero. 

This hassle and arranging new phone is pissing me off. You know, all the things I had that I use for everyday. I probably don’t have the passwords for all the fancy apps or whatever they are called. And being without car, albeit just for four days, is driving me crazy. I am, obviously very much used to going and coming as I please and being dependant on rentals is annoying. 

And all in all I am getting pissed off on everything again.

And, there was Metallica concerts, two, on 7th and on 9th. And guess who did not go there. Yes, me. 

I will have my car back in two days now and I will hit the road. I have my bags packed already, only toss in some pillows and blancket and I will go and hide in our endless forests, sleep in my car as it’s the size of fortress, eat local whatever I can find and,  and! wash in the sea. I plan nothing. I go with the flow as they say. Some, ofcourse, say only dead fish go with the flow. Well, I shall be dead fish then. For a week or so. Maybe more, because I do not see any orders coming in so I really do not have to be stuck in the city. Ah, yes, my camping gear! I love it. I only have to pick few more things from my cottage on the way…. like mosquito repellent and tactical food packs. You know the ones they make for doomsday preppers and military. And I have to check my car kettle, if that is still alive. Or buy new one 😦 if that’s dead. I love being in the middle of nowhere in silence. I can see wild animals then. I mean I do not like sleeping in the tent, I might just toss it out and use it during day when I sunbathe or cook or…. But I prefer to sleep in the car so I have visual control of my surroundings and no deer would just step on me accidentally. Or bear. Real bear. 

Plus the weather now! It’s the weirdest thing since I was born. I kid you not! We have now weather so, in the morning it’s barely plus temperatures, so you put on coat, jacket or whatever warm thing you have. And take umbrella. You get to few hours later only to be blinded by hot sun blasting in the bluest skies! Take off clothes because you are about to faint from heat. Now two hours more gone by. Yes, it’s so heavy rain you can’t see your car that is parked mere 50 metres away. That’s why I prefer to sleep in the car, as I have noticed there are very often heavy rains exactly at night. I have even been woken up by the rain, or in this case I suspect it was hail, at night.

The second burst out of city will be my home island. As it takes five hours one way to get there, to my original home, this trip has to be kinda sure thing. I mean I like driving but I sure don’t like going to island and coming back next day. This is too much to handle. Last year summer I flew to island some 5 or 6 times, but it’s sort of restricting your moving around again. I mean my brother would give me his car but I don’t like to be asking. Asking for a car makes me feel like retard, as if I did not know I need a car on the island! As I am doing my pilots license in year or, realistically, in two years time, I shall fly myself and my friends to the island. I wonder if they rent the planes one way only 🙂 or if I can keep it for a week.

So now, I have overcome the writers block or the fact that I had the best two topics in my mind but I forgot them both. I still don’t recall what those two were, I only remember they were brilliant. I must write them down immediately. Keep a tiny black book for this. Memory on paper. And I have infact a very valid reason to keep my memory on paper! Stroke 18 years ago left it’s marks and I have made peace with it. You can tell me your name and I will just never ever remember it. It took me four if not five years to remember my employees names. I mean, how hard it is to remember russian names like Olga and Tanja and Lena!??! I swear, I just had a smile and blank head, nothing, nothing! for years!!! And I was the one who hired them!!! I had to learn to shut up and stop asking who is Olga and who is Lena. I must have looked like total idiot asking about my own workers :):):):):). Ah, let’s leave it as that. I now know their names. Most of the times. 

So enjoy summer if you have one, 

take a lot of sunbathes,

white wine and fresh air dinners

stay cool and warm

Next chapter, 101, maybe, just maybe, will be about those mysterious two topics. I might remember them randomly. Will make sure I have pen and paper ready.

XOXOX