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108 yes, I’m sorry
Again, I must apologise for this long gap in my mighty blog.
First things first. I went to my house/ cottage and hold and behold! there they were, muschrooms! Right on my lawn. Right the same way as every year with the exeption of me being on time to pick them. They are called Coprinus comatus. Right so, did I say “comatus” as in coma??? Funny isn’t it! Let me get straight to this – I have never tasted better mushroom sauce in my life! And I made it! The best part is I am still alive. That, in fact, means, that those mushrooms indeed were edible :). I know some mushrooms we have here, and we have a lot. Most common ones are not to be seared on pan just like that “coma” mushrooms or boletus. Instead most are for marinating for winter. I love those too but I don’t marinate them myself. It’s pretty exhausting work to clean them up in the first place as you always bring some spruce or pine needles or even spiders and other creepy crawlers in with the mushrooms. Luckily we have some enthusiasts scavengers that pick the mushrooms for some fair money so you in fact can order what you want and they will go foraging. Or, the other way around the foragers go to forest, clean stuff up and in the morning advertise in Facebook. I bought some sea salmon like that, or other fish some time ago. Real salmon, real fats, real taste, not the orange-pinkish thing they grow in farms. Let me tell you: once you try real fish, wild one, you will never like the farmed ones. Yes, that’s the sad reality of being in small country with cleanest nature :), we get spoiled early on. I am pretty sure I have written about our foods earlier too, but repeating is the key to success, right. In addition to clean (I mean as clean as our seas are…. that’s another question with not the best real answer….) real fish we also eat real butter, real meats, and more and more people now refuse bying the cage-kept chickens eggs. Wheat and other crops are local and one of the best things people say we have is black bread. It’s pretty commong around here, extremely tasty but probably we have inborn taste for it. Maybe for foreigners it is strange as our meat in jelly :). Whenever someone goes for longer period to live in foreign country there are the unwritten rules for everyone visiting a fellow countrypeople. One must take black bread, our herb liquor and canned sardines or herring with you as a gift. Let me tell you the bread and the herring tastest exquisite in London or Paris after tons of croissants and beans! I have witnessed half a kilo loaf disappear within half an hour!!!
So for now on I will keep you updated better. I promise. I have some notes that I need to write down now and stop embarassing myself with this lazyness…. or whatever it’s called.
I shall try to make a chapter every week, even if it’s short and maybe not much of an interesting topic or outcome.
Stay tuned!
XOXOX
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107 I’m coming!
Just kidding. Coming or going. Doesn’t matter. It’s all rotating around. Ain’t nothing interesting going on. Thought I’d do two parts of this meditational writing so I would have something to post later on and I would not be “dissapearing” for too long like, again, it happened now. My apologies for that. I was well aware of dumping my readers yet I had nothing to say nor write. I did some TikToks, some actual work, some dreaming and some planning. Planning is based on hypothetical win of few million Euros. Or a few hundred thousands, does not really matter as long as it’s six digits or more. More taxes, more desperate men commiting suicide, more fatherless children. It’s also rotating. Forever and ever. Exhausted. And, fearing of the upcoming autumn and winter. Rowan is crazy this year, every tiniest tree is full of berries witch, by our experienced witches, means that the winter will be extremely cold. Halleluja. That’s what’s missing in life of poor people. Poorest in Europe. Not visible when you look at the salaries. But, when you are a tad educated, you look at purchase power. And then you see we are the poorest fuckers in Europe. Which I have been telling for ten years already but who cares….
Have been doing some more singing now. As I usually prep dinner with singing for 30 minutes or an hour I now do other things when singing. To keep my voice “on the go”. Nothing special, just my favourites like Bruce Springsteen, Richie Sambora, AC/DC, Metallica. These kinds of magicians. I can’t do that much because I start to cry. Who can sing The River without crying??? Or Tougher than the rest??? I can’t. I am pussy. Oh fuck, I am again crying! Tried to complete the Harlem rain. Guess what? I could not finish it. Must be full moon or something. I am not usually such a vuzz. Is that even a word…. My singing means I do a-capella. I can’t play guitar or ukulele or anything because of my secret little thing with my hands and some other bits…. My hands are falling apart and I can barely write or prep food. I could do some piano but my two pianos are both just dusting away merrily. Yes, I have autoimmune disease that comes and goes in violent waves that is not killing me physically but surely killing me mentally. Oh, and I am now again limping because of it. Yes, it’s on my feet too and I am now struggeling walking. It’s coming and going means I usually don’t have it visible. But now I have had it visible for some half year or so. The for this shitty thingy is is stress as for most autoimmune diseases. And boy, stress is the only thing I have!!! The outcome of this wave of disease is my hands and fingers are popping into halves and bleeding. They grow up together very slowly. In fact I have two fingers broken and bleeding just as I write this. In addition to fingers my feet are affected aswell. I wrote about it many posts ago but now it has become constant feature again. I can cure it only by being in zen all the time, or by relocating to Italy, France or Greece. Or some other country with sunshine and salty seawater. Here I don’t have much
I was on island some week ago…. yes, My hometown started to play in my head as a backround again as I was thinking back on that trip just now. Instead of Buick I have Moskvitch and instead of dad I have my mom in this song. I am cursed with something now. I can’t stop the waterworks. Who is thinking of me?
I just act like I don’t remeber, Mary pretends she don’t care.
Harlem rain by Richie Sambora started to play in my list (something I accidentally created without any understanding and now it pops out every now and then). As a huge music lover and somewhat entertainer I recognise every song I ever liked from the first note. However, I can sing or hum it, and maybe say the artists name, but not always. That is because I had stroke some 18 years back and I learned to talk-walk again. So apologise in advance for that too. So you will not have high expectations.
I shall share this for now so you can get exited of the upcoming post. I will try to keep myself on the line with this now. I did punish myself already for being lazy, believe me. I only have one beer every evening as a dinner. It’s both blessing and a curse 🙂
Stay hot and cool
write to me themaddesthattereverseen@gmail.com
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106 heatwave
I choose to love you in silence
for in silence I find no rejection
I choose to love you in loneliness
for in loneliness no one owns you but me
I choose adore you from a distance
for distance will shield me from pain
I choose to kiss you in the wind
for the wind is gentler than my lips
I choose to hold you in my dreams
for in my dreams you have no end
Thats shortly about today 🙂
It’s so hot now I just sit and sweat. During day some +30C, now it’s almost ten in the evening and thermometre shows 22C. I sit and sweat. No wind. Had beer and it just pouring out of me. Ladies, you know what part of female body sweats if the bra size is 38G. Yes, under boobs. For a moment there I thought some bug is crawling on my belly but no!! It’s sweat running down!! Unbelievable. I haven’t even moved and I sweat. Last I sweat like that in delivery room. And before that when I was 13 and running long distance competition fighting for my country. Sweating is nasty. I need cold shower. Or just lay down on stonefloor. It’s pretty difficult to sleep in this heat and it runs you down in few days. I could not take it anymore today. Or, in fact, my body could not take it anymore. Came home at about noon, did my work in computer and had lunch and then my eyes! I just could not keep them open anymore. I suspect it’s either from the constant “non-sleeping” at nights or I have some sort of insomnia. I have had this weird “insomnia” attack before several times. It’s not insomnia, it’s weird. Let me explain.
For instance one of the times IT attacked me in the middle of the day. I looked up the shop that I needed (today I don’t remember what it was, but then I needed to get to one particular shop that only excisted in one particular place) opens at 10 in the mo. No, I avoid shops at all costs but this time I wanted to go early as in hopes that there are not so many people around. So. I wake up, have my slow morning, get dressed and drive some 15 minutes to that shopping centre. Huge parking lot, free parking (good ol’ times). Imagine, I barely made it to that parking lot. I left house, sat into my car and thought weird, my body is more exhausted than ever yet I just woke up. I drive, barely able to keep my eyes open. I am pretty confused by that time as this was the first time this weird thing happened to me. I sit up straight in my seat and open all windows to stay awake. Put on some loud music. I make it to the parking lot and that’s when it really hit me. I could no longer move nor keep my eyes open. No, there was no pain. My eyes just closed to sleep. I locked cardoors, opened windows so that I would have air, switched off engine (because here we have 2 minutes rule for parked cars) and let my seat down. Let me tell you! I was fast asleep within 20 seconds. It was 10.15 when I parked the car. I woke up without ever moving at about 16 in the early evening. Just slept whole work day in parking lot. Whole day. Without moving slightest. I don’t know what IT is.
Another attack of IT was in the highway. Going 120km/ h I suddenly felt I can not do it one second longer. No, we have no emergency stops, no places to pull over. But I had to stop. I kicked on the blinking emergency lights, pulled over to side as far as possible from the lane and the moment I stopped, it seemed, I was already sleeping. I slept there on the side of highway for three hours. Again, no moving, nothing. I probably looked like dead person. Luckily nordics don’t give a damn so nobody bothered me. I woke up and continued as if nothing happened.
It has happened at work too. This is tough one because I work at extremely dangerous places with heavy mashinery around me at all times. Let me tell you, you can not sleep standing under cranes or when berthing ship is next to you :). At work I have only one option. To go to car or to toilet, put alarm on 20 minutes and pray I wake up when the alarm goes off. Before that I have to find someone who can take over for 30 minutes or so and that’s another thing that usually is not possible. Luckily all my workmates are men and more or less decent ones so when I say I need to go they usually nod and take over.
Today it happened again. Luckily I was on the way home anyways. I can’t do anything to fight it, nothing works. I just fall asleep when I walk or sit. It must be something medical. I have been sleeping in cars on roadside, parking lots, airport, parks, beach. Today I made it home and slept from 14 to 19, again without moving a bone. It’s a weird thing.
Anyways. Off to cottage now. Driving at night is my favourite as nobody on the roads. Will be one night there and then off to beach in one of the famous Kurorts we have. One of which VIP from St. Petersburg visited eagerly in 1800-1900s.
Stay cool and hot,
XOXOX
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105 summer bliss and curse
You know the traffic regulators. The ones that show up on Saturday mo or are highly active right about on 5th or 10th dates every month…. Yes, the ones lost motivation to stay sober and those folks end up wasting all of their salary by 6th or 11th. And they wiggle on the streetside looking suspiciously fragile and unstable for all the drivers who try to guess if this zombielike thing is about to fall under the car or wants to cross the streets. So I drive and keep guessing. It looks as if zombies have taken over. One of the zombies stops on the zebracrossing, it’s zebra without traffic lights. You know, white stripes on the street where people cross the road. I stop because I have to, by the rules, let the pedestrians cross if they appear to be wanting to cross. And then the fucking regulators become live. The barely standing, drunk as fuck man starts to wave and rotate its hands, then grabs the lightpost because apparenty the wave was wayyyyyy too much for him and almost took him out. Those zombies only apprear right after payday. Imagine having no meaning nor purpose in life but to get minimum salary, and the moment the phone (if you have one) makes “peep” you head for the cheapest vodka you can find. You get it and drink it alone. Alone because you are a survivor and smart! If you would have company there is a high risk of getting into some sort of lame argument and knife ending this argument. It’s pretty common here among those poorest of all. Mind you, most of the poorest, I mean the regulators, are russians. It’s a vicious circle they refused to get out of. The circle they chose was not to learn local language, hence ending up with worst jobs ever, the ones where no talking is needed. Like gravediggers. Any job with shovels. So they get the worst jobs if they get any at all. And then become friends with similar gangstas. Cursing all the locals, praising “poo tin” and dreaming of “poo tin” coming to bring back the good ol’ times and “rescue” them.
It’s useless to try to convince them. They used to have chill life when they were young: free apartment or a house upon arrival (taken from locals just like israeli zionists taking houses from palestinians), job in joint called “kolhos” or “sovhos”, money coming in, “chicks for free” that were also sent to here to bring us “culture”. Culture they brought yes…. Russian culture mainly consisted of toilet that meant hole on the ground, evening out meant endless vodka, beatings, killings. Resistance was subdued with killings, deportations to Siberia, or just taking your belongings, house, farmanimals. If you were rich in 1920s you were usually sent to Siberia. If you were stupid and rich and resisted you were shot to head behind sauna. And we were rich that time, better off than Finland.
So those regulators. One almost fell under my car while regulating the traffic. I was the only car on the street and he was persistant that I must go. The moment I took my foot off the break he lost his grip of the lightpost and fell face down right in front of my car, right under my car with his head. That damn regulator!!! I hit the breaks and jump out of the car to see where he is. Just 2 millimetres more and his head would be crushed by my tyre. Damn russian bastard! And he was so drunk, pissed (probably not only piss!) pants, stinky and dirty, unable to speak I could not leave him there. I called the police to come and take him. When police came this idiot claimed he wanted to go to my place. Horror. He was literally drooling on my boobs, trying to grab them in the broad daylight!! Babbling something on juicy and tasty in russian. Gross, gross beyond imagination. I feel sorry for the police officers who have to wear gloves because they have to drag this stinky bastards into their car.
This is the culture we were gifted by russians. Top notch.
But more on the bright side now. It’s raining, sunny, raining, sunny menu now. As I am sitting and writing this in my cottage on the terrace I enjoy pretty much summer like I used to have in Italy. Some sort of cicada like creatures are pretty busy and it really feels like Italy except the humidity is different. Our weather is somehow easier to bare as it’s more humid by the sea. 30C here and 30C in Italy are totally different experiences. Now the sun disappeared and I can hear thunder right above my head. No rain yet but I can bet it’s going to be a blast somewhere near. I probably will not get rain here because swallows are flying high. If they fly right above ground there will be rain. Now they fly above rooftops, so no rain. Imagine how boring of a childhood I had to have to know these kinds of signs of upcoming weather 🙂
Will go to island in one week, tix bought already. Cheduled carting, will go around lighthouses if we fancy we can even climb up the 500+ years old stairs of one of the oldest still operating lighthouses in the world! Hope to have a lot of fish, perhaps already flounder is fatty and nice. Will take stroll at discgolf course that is next to my home and most probably just have a day on the beach aswell. The discgolf is a funny thing in the forest. It’s not golf, open wide fields. It’s sort of baskets in the middle of wild forest and you have the discs that you have to throw into the baskets with as little throws as possible. In Sweden, for instance, using the discgolf course is with tickets. Just like golf, or any other activity. Which is hilarious. Because here it’s for free, the discgolf that is. We have free outdoors gyms on the beaches and in the parks, free obstacle courses in the forest, some of which go pretty high onto the trees so you will be like Tarzan. Fascinating is that the poorest countries have such things free. I could bet if the tickets would be charged nobody on their right mind would use them.
Fed the stray cats now. 2 babies that are 3 months old, 2 cats that are some 3 years olds and one huge old black male cat. His head is gigant and he is in bits, but recovering. Must be the local terrorist fighting with all males that are not castrated. Simple minded villagers don’t go to vet to get snip snip. So I end up having some 9 cats in my yard again. I put up the cage to catch the one female that is pregnant again. She is due any day now and he idea is to catch her, get her kittens at home, and then sterilise her. She had 4 kittens in spring, of which 2 are here at the moment, hiding under terrace. I have now friend who wants to help out and if we catch this pregnant one, my friend will take her home. From there we will see either we keep the female or bring back to live wild in the cottage which is sort of a dumb idea in our climate as in winter it gets into deep minuses. Better try to find her and her kittens homes. So, if you need working cat, let me know 🙂
Stay hot and cool
Will go to prep some dinner now (this time real food too, not only beer :))
XOXOX
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104 I’m all good!
Dear all,
sorry for the silence in the air! I am ok, all doing fine, the usual stuff.
Have been extremely busy and surviving at the same time. Work needs to be done, prepping for cafe and surviving the heat that goes on and off switching between heavy rains and crazy heat within few hours. Not quite complaining about the weather as it is the best balance for all sorts of crops and produce. But physically it is pretty hard to endure for nordic people. Plus it’s annoying to put on rainy day clothes and then end up sweating like pig. But bare with me – I have invented the best solution for it. ALWAYS keep bikini in your bag or in the car or somewhere with you at all times. I discovered this few years back when I went to beach in the other end of our country and when I was packing the weather forecast promised snow and weird subzero temperatures at night. So I had my winterjacket with me AND bikinis. Turned out perfect combo! Within one day I had to change 4 times from bikini to wintergear because the weather was changing so fast.
So now baking macroons, pies, prepping doughs, and yes, it’s double the heat :). I wish I would have all success with them macroons, but no. Can you imagine, the success of baking macroons depends higly on weather! If it’s rainy you are pretty much going to ruin the macroons. Unless you have two ovens like I do. It’s still a drag because it takes longer than with sunny day. I will explain you later or when you come to take baking courses with me 🙂
While baking I usually put some comedy on now. I used to put heavy metal or rock on but if your windows are open (due to heat) and you put on max decibels then your neighbours might object 2 o’clock at night listening to your music choices :). So comedy it is for now. And good one. From the Two and a half men one joke about our lovely neighbours’ neighbours:
– U should date some nice Polish girls, they are nuts in bed
– why…
– well, they are nuts in bed because sex is the only thing they did not have to stand in line for!
Short, to the point, and true.
Off now to do some more baking. It’s noontime and I am already exhausted even though I woke up at 10 :):)
Stay cool and hot!
XOXOX
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103 hot, hot, hot
Heatwave. Yesterday, on Friday, I saw 34C. That’s 93 in Fahrenheit. It was a workday and I had to run some errands, driving for half day in the city, sitting in the black car all windows down. Because I do not want to get ill from AC. Yeees, I know. But I have another reason why windows were down and jeans were literally stuck on me as I was profusely sweating. I guess I was sweating because so far I have known sweat coming from armpits and face, and occasionally buttcrack. Yesterday I encountered sweat coming from my back and thighs? I really did not piss my pants but they were totally wet. And I certainly did not piss my back while taking odd positions but my tee was also soaking wet. All in all it was disgusting. I met my friend Tony on the street when I was galloping to my dentist. I have not sen him 15 years! So we hugged and that was disgusting. But we said nothing. Had a lovely chat with him. He is cool and one of the people I know who has most unexpected life simply happening to him. Let me tell you.
Tony is from Ecuador. He was professional concert pianist in Moscow and St. Petersburg for almost a decade or so. He was teaching piano to keep boredom away. He learned Russian, he is fluent in it. He left Russia because he was getting paid peanuts and it was not interesting anymore. Went to Paris. Lived there for three years, played piano, teached piano and learned French. He then moved to Finland and found a lady there whom he married. He now learned Finnish to keep boredom away. This lady got work in Finnish embassy in Estonia. They moved to Estonia. He learned Estonian to keep the boredom away. All while doing some translation work for European union various offices. So Tony is fluent in …. Spanish, English, Russian, Finnish, Estonian, French. And can handle Portugese and Italian. He is one language ahead of me. Well, sort of, I don’t speak Spanish nor French. Yet. But he doesn’t speak Polish nor Ukrainian. So in the end it’s a tie. Sort of. Almost. Because he probably would understand Polish and Ukrainian too. So he gave me a lot of motivation to learn Spanish and French. To keep boredom away 🙂 and I shall keep boredom away.
Now in cottage. As a contrast to yesterdays heatwave now, in the eve or at night, it’s 17C, roughly 62F. And to no surprise I am freezing. I made my bed in sauna (the building, not steamroom 🙂 ). I have now three blanckets on, one of them is with down, one woollen. I still have cold toes. I did not take any clothes with me, nor socks. Nothing. Because it was supposed to be summer. Freaking summer!!! Obviously it’s over now. Hailstorms was promised for today but we had nothing. It would again, destroy all crops, or plants like tomatoes and things. So I was prepared to carry my plants under the roof. My tomatoes are in special boxes, they have even wheels. I keep them outside because I don’t have greenhouse yet. And with those hailstorms more and more frequent I am suspecting I will not be having one any time soon…. Maybe once I move to France, depending on the weather there.
I was going through my stash of clothes and shoes, looking for my Birkenstocks. Not the wooden ones you should be able to walk on water. I have all white ones with that thing in the middle of toes. Now, how can one lose shoes? Tell me. How? I bought them when I was last on quest looking for best coctail in Tenerife. I walked tens of kilometres from my hotel to Hard Rock cafe. Every day. I wanted to get tan, fit and hungry by the time I got there. And so I did. Two day walking, my feet are burning. But all I could think of were the coctails. They make mean coctails. So on the way back to my hotel I was getting slower and slower. Took my shoes off and walked in the ocean to cool down a bit. Oh, bliss. I remember my feet were so over I figured I will walk either barefoot all the rest of the vacation or get myself something new to ease the pain. To be honest, I already had my most comfy shoes with me, flipflops, sneakers, thigs like that. And then, some half way back to hotel them spaniards have put a port. Tiny port for local ferries that go between the islands. I had to get off the water and put on these dreadful shoes that in my homecountry are the most comfy things ever, but in heat they sort of shrink :)…. OK, my feet were swollen from the heat and ten plus kilometres every day. I dragged myself out of water and conveniently saw shop for tourist. Somewhat fancy shop, not the rails-on-street-kinda thing, proper one with elevators and electricity and card payments. Airconditioning too. So I had to put my shoes on because the stone floors together with AC would be killer combination and I would end up sick for sure. And there they were. Birkenstocks. I can’t make myself wear the originals so I opted for new fancy look of soft foam like plastic shoes yet same comfort! I tried them on, and I kid you not, I felt like in heaven. No pain, no burning, just cool and soft. When the port came my way I contemplainted on taking a cab to hotel. Now with the long dreaded ol’ farts shoes turned top modern I was ready to walk another ten kilometres. It felt unreal. I did not feel them on even. And now brings me back to original question. How can you lose shoes?
It’s 1 at night. Some animals running on my terrace in front of the sauna and I try to see who it or they are but no luck so far. Silence now. Month ago the birds were singing nonstop. Now they prepping for Egypt I guess. It’s also darker again. After Midsummers the nights get darker again and in August the skies are the prettiest. Full of stars.
Good nite now,
Will give another go with the Birkenstocks tomorrow. Will pretend I really want to find them…. Instead I would not mind going to Tenerife to find a new pair 🙂
Tuuduluu
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102 Midsummers
– What are you in for?
– Drunk and disorderly. Or, as I call it, Tuesday.
Watching my favourite shows on Youtube. Hot in Cleveland is one, Two and a Half men is another. Just easy listening for my “blackdrop”.
I had some florist work today. Hence I did not go to island but stayed on mainland and not-celebrated the midsummers festives. I don’t really bother with the nationwide or even international get drunk fast and yell all night long parties. All our neighbours do it, polish, swedes, finns, probably also danes. Previously pagan countries of which only the most northern kept their senses and fouhgt off the rapist, killers “christians” bringing us freedom. Reading a really good book on this, take on this forced on “freedom” in deep Finland, in the very end of the world. Action takes place in Swedish/ Finnish forests and villages right by the Russian border, in 1700s (my guess as the people have no surnames yet and there is big winterwar going on and russians were occupying great bit of Sweden and Finland, again). The common name for russians is ryssä. That today is very negative word used for russians. Ryssä in general is nasty bastard coming to kill locals, rape and steal all they can. And they always tried to bring culture to all of their neighbours. The other set of people in the book are brainwashed christians who sane locals expelled from the villages. The pastor, one of the main characters, ran to bog and hid in the proper house that one pagan built years ago. The pagan man still lives in the bog and brings, to the pastors surprise, food to the doorstep. Everyone rejecting christianity was considered pagans, and therefore bad. Yet this so called pagan was just a guy (and we are just people) who does not believe things that he has not seen with his eyes. They also have common sense. And yes, we still do. It is very good book on brainwashed idiots claiming they know it all and they have guts telling stupid things out loud. You know, the more stupid you are, the louder you are. Simple rules of life. Ever wondered why Japanese businessmen are quiet and only the youngest talks? The smartest and seniors are silent. So the book goes about very north of Sweden/ Karjala/ Lapland region with harshest of weathers, where even in summer is no summer really. Millions of mosquitoes, thousands of lakes, you need to hunt and fish to survive the winters. Good book, highly recommend. When reading you have to do some timetravelling and switch your brain to some peasant/ wildlife/ no electricity era of 18 century. And the times when 45 years old people were considered oldies, rarity. Really captivating. Look it up in your language, if possible: author is Maria Turtschaninoff, name of the book would be something like “Heritage land”. All of it is intriguing and interesting because her surname is russian…. Yes, I am immediately alert and worried when I hear anything related to russians or jews. The two eternal victims.
Midsummers night is today. Had my own private fire set up already two days ago. At my cottage. Burning for all evening and as it never went dark I got bored and went to sleep at midnight or so. So from today on the days are getting shorter and nights getting longer. Bummer. In very northern bit of Sweden and Finland there is just about now the eternal day going on. Which means the sun never sets for about 3 months or so. Imagine not being able to sleep as it’s too damn light as the sun is right where it is in midday!! I was once there in summer, for mere 4 or 5 days. I tell you, this so called vacation wore me out and I could not ge back to normal for two weeks. Worse than jetlag. Way worse! No wonder they are considered the biggest alcoholics right there. And we know the reason! The winters in these corners of the world are literally the same! The constant darkness for 5 months, only daylight mere 3-4 hours and constant cold that needs everyone wear expensive wintergear. I mean, the only good thing with that winter is pure white nature and nordic lights. And possibly a lot of sex. That’s only valid if you can fight the urge to drink Koskenkorva or Smirnoff or any other vodka and are still able to find reasonable “mate” to do it with. Obviously reckless drinking makes even most vital people a tad asocial. You can check the pics of Finnish queue in internet :). When sober they are really keeping their personal space holy. I suppose most nordic people are similar….
So midsummers done, now is time to work again. Nothing changes there. Stale. Is that the word for no going back nor forward. Had a half day of doing florist work today, tomorrow on field again. Boring as fuck but a must. Wonder where this “boring as fuck” came from :)…. does that mean some time ago, somewhere someone had incredibly boring session with someone in bed (or some other location) that he or she had to toot out loud for everyone to know? My theory on being boring has been true so far. My theory is only boring people have boring time. Ah, maybe that’s just me being able to entertain myself noticing funny odd stuff or just yapping about something so long it gets hilarious.
Well, off to bed now. To wait for sandman to come. The one from Metallica :). Hush little baby, don’t say a word!
You know the new valid measurement of powerty is: Third world country is where people are plucking their own brows. I must add I have always, my whole life, done this plucking myself. Hence, I am poor as fuck 🙂
Stay cool and hot!
XOXOX
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100
jubileum! Time to celebrate! Hiphip hoorayyy!
A whole hundred times I have had feeling that I have something to say and taken up writing about it. Here. Into space unknown. So I had a beer. Ok, two. To celebrate and that turned into one boring chapter of nothing. Decided to have a break and see if I have something sound to say next day…. No, next day just passed by. Another beer. As for dinner. Isn’t it normal to not have any friends nearby to just pop in and, I don’t know, ask for salt or something? I have nobody, no friends, no family anywhere close. I don’t miss them per se. I only would like to go out for a nice dinner in a nice fancy restaurant. Have a wine, or two, oysters, octopus, or any other seafood (preferrably), chat the night away and have a decent restart of my brain. Something happy. For once? Is it too much to ask, I wonder. I think I will just go alone, make some tiktoks, watch some comedy and enjoy my dinner. In few weeks time the seasonal staff will start to recognise me…. ah, here comes that one again, they shall think, giving a distinct sad nod towards me. It’s not that many excellent restaurants here. I am mainly looking for view in addition to sublime food. View means either seaside, glassy and airy rooftop or something chaotic and busy in oldtown.
Well, that’s me being useless. But I am useless for a reason. Orders shrinking in awful speed. I actually have only one order for work, a days work worth just 160Eur. And that’s it. Imagine. Going for whole summer without zero income visible.
Car is in repairs, again. Only costs. The insurance only covers part of it.
Phone died, not charging anymore, nothing, zero.
This hassle and arranging new phone is pissing me off. You know, all the things I had that I use for everyday. I probably don’t have the passwords for all the fancy apps or whatever they are called. And being without car, albeit just for four days, is driving me crazy. I am, obviously very much used to going and coming as I please and being dependant on rentals is annoying.
And all in all I am getting pissed off on everything again.
And, there was Metallica concerts, two, on 7th and on 9th. And guess who did not go there. Yes, me.
I will have my car back in two days now and I will hit the road. I have my bags packed already, only toss in some pillows and blancket and I will go and hide in our endless forests, sleep in my car as it’s the size of fortress, eat local whatever I can find and, and! wash in the sea. I plan nothing. I go with the flow as they say. Some, ofcourse, say only dead fish go with the flow. Well, I shall be dead fish then. For a week or so. Maybe more, because I do not see any orders coming in so I really do not have to be stuck in the city. Ah, yes, my camping gear! I love it. I only have to pick few more things from my cottage on the way…. like mosquito repellent and tactical food packs. You know the ones they make for doomsday preppers and military. And I have to check my car kettle, if that is still alive. Or buy new one 😦 if that’s dead. I love being in the middle of nowhere in silence. I can see wild animals then. I mean I do not like sleeping in the tent, I might just toss it out and use it during day when I sunbathe or cook or…. But I prefer to sleep in the car so I have visual control of my surroundings and no deer would just step on me accidentally. Or bear. Real bear.
Plus the weather now! It’s the weirdest thing since I was born. I kid you not! We have now weather so, in the morning it’s barely plus temperatures, so you put on coat, jacket or whatever warm thing you have. And take umbrella. You get to few hours later only to be blinded by hot sun blasting in the bluest skies! Take off clothes because you are about to faint from heat. Now two hours more gone by. Yes, it’s so heavy rain you can’t see your car that is parked mere 50 metres away. That’s why I prefer to sleep in the car, as I have noticed there are very often heavy rains exactly at night. I have even been woken up by the rain, or in this case I suspect it was hail, at night.
The second burst out of city will be my home island. As it takes five hours one way to get there, to my original home, this trip has to be kinda sure thing. I mean I like driving but I sure don’t like going to island and coming back next day. This is too much to handle. Last year summer I flew to island some 5 or 6 times, but it’s sort of restricting your moving around again. I mean my brother would give me his car but I don’t like to be asking. Asking for a car makes me feel like retard, as if I did not know I need a car on the island! As I am doing my pilots license in year or, realistically, in two years time, I shall fly myself and my friends to the island. I wonder if they rent the planes one way only 🙂 or if I can keep it for a week.
So now, I have overcome the writers block or the fact that I had the best two topics in my mind but I forgot them both. I still don’t recall what those two were, I only remember they were brilliant. I must write them down immediately. Keep a tiny black book for this. Memory on paper. And I have infact a very valid reason to keep my memory on paper! Stroke 18 years ago left it’s marks and I have made peace with it. You can tell me your name and I will just never ever remember it. It took me four if not five years to remember my employees names. I mean, how hard it is to remember russian names like Olga and Tanja and Lena!??! I swear, I just had a smile and blank head, nothing, nothing! for years!!! And I was the one who hired them!!! I had to learn to shut up and stop asking who is Olga and who is Lena. I must have looked like total idiot asking about my own workers :):):):):). Ah, let’s leave it as that. I now know their names. Most of the times.
So enjoy summer if you have one,
take a lot of sunbathes,
white wine and fresh air dinners
stay cool and warm
Next chapter, 101, maybe, just maybe, will be about those mysterious two topics. I might remember them randomly. Will make sure I have pen and paper ready.
XOXOX
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99 not pleased
I am mighty. I slept until noon today. Noon. Without blinking an eye, one might say. I opened eyes at 11.58, stood up, stretched my back and went to kitchen to make coffee. I think I deserve some prize for this ability. Could it be talent of some sort? I mean, it must be. I made coffee, stared out of the window, thinking whether I should now get all my stuff into car and drive as fast as possible to my cottage and open the cafe that I promised to myself…. right. No. I do not well when I hurry. I started to pack my stuff, set all to corridor to make sure I don’t forget anything. Then washed 2 loads of laundry, set them to dry. And then it was already three o’clock when I slowly dragged everything out to my car and, as always, logistically properly placed everything into the car. I already had boot partly full as on Thursday I took my lawn mower robot to “clinic” as it was just doing stupid things. So they got it fixed, apparently discovered corrosion on the charging bits. So the boot was half full. I added some hanging baskets for flowers, empty can of petrol (for the usual lawn mower), some clothes, some books, some food for myself and box with macroons. Benziiiiiiiiiin, nice smell guaranteed if you spill some in the petrolstation. Suits well with Rammstein. Nur ein bischen Kerosin 🙂
Heading to cottage always means going through shops. Either taking the food for the stray cats, dirt for garden, tools, foodstuffs for cafe. Anything. So this time I needed some flowers for the hanging baskets and the gardentables of the cafe. I don’t keep fresh cut flowers in the vases, I keep living flowerpots on the tables. Small pots with tiny flowers. Or, sometimes I have lucious herbs in pots, like basil, or even those tiny tomatoes so kids can pick and eat.
Continuing my rant at cottage. Fought whole eve and most of today, Sunday, with the lawn. It is already evening and I have to leave soon. But not all lawn done. And needless to say I did not open the cafe today. I am pissed of on it, on me that is. But that what happens when you are doing everything alone. The rooms are almost ok, but I forgot to buy eggs yesterday so I did not have all the ingredience to make quiches for the cafe. So another major fail. In a way fighting with this damn lawn is actually punishing myself. Like tf you can’t even get the lawn right. What sort of a owner or manager or chef are you. Useless. So I failed to open on 1st May and 1st June. I have lost already ONE MONTH of income. I mean, who does that to himself of herself? Total twat, I say, that’s who.
Taking a break now in sauna (the building itself, not steamroom as there is no steamroom yet) and writing this. By the door there is some sort of old huge tree that the birds have made nest IN to. I mean woodpecker or someone had made some hole into and there are every year some birds there. I have no clue what they are but they sound like annoying baby toy, rattling like sound. You know those bangers like things. Then there is larks singing, warblers waving with their tails, and a lot of swallows. Swallows are our national birds. Lovely little creatures, keeping us free from mosquitoes. Weather is strange, again. Hot as hell but out of the blue heavy rains and hailstorms. I made a few Tiktoks about it and turns out we have huge country 🙂 as just mere 50 kilometres from me nobody had seen rain nor storm in weeks! That’s the thing with weather here, unpredictable. And now crops are suffering as it’s heatwave, at the same moment you lose tomatoes because hail destroyed most of your plants. Go figure. I am not an expert in any of it so I just shrug and go buy new plants from the market. I hate that the hail destroyed half of my tomatoes that I have been petting since February. FEBRUARY!!! So just suck it up and try to remember for the next year to NOT BOTHER with growing your own plants from seed. Just don’t. It’s not worth having your bedroom looking like jungle for four months. And so I do for about ten years now. Every year promising I shall not bother. I must suffer from memory loss, you might think. No, there is no suffering. I kinda like it. Gives me something to complain about 🙂
Now the sauna house is built on stakes, on to the water. Which means, in theory, that you can jump into the lake straight from the steamroom. Once there is steamroom. It also means I have some crazy ducks flying in for a stroll in my lake. I have seen every year this chick duck (?) having a whole lot of tiny chicks, ducklings, are they called? But never have I seen male duck. Only female, and always has some 7, 9 or up to 12 ducklings every year. Must have nest somewhere here because the tiny ones sure can’t fly. The very tiny ones. Now they have grown to almost proper duck size and they fly. Today at night they came and one of them landed into my saunawall. Suppose the duck is ok as I have not seen anyone left behind or struggling. The bang was colossal, It woke me up and I thought someone wants to get in.
The cottage is in the middle of real nature, though in a small village, it is the last house before endless forests and fields. I have seen foxes, deers, and I have heard wolves. Not to mention the beavers and otters that creep out of the lake every now and then. So it’s a bit of a miracle that the ducks survive every year. Ah, and the storks. They stroll around diminishing my frog collection.
Will run out to do the last bit of lawn now. After which I head home as tomorrow is Monday and I have been booked for a job for 8 days or so…. depending on how fast they work. It’s a drag because again, it’s hot and nasty. So complaining never ends. Be it winter and too fucking cold or summer, too fucking hot! 🙂
Tuuduluu,
stay cool and hot,
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The Mad Hatter 