-
98 season opening
Yes, I have made 2 sets of macroons. Yellow ones with mango taste and pinkish of raspberry. I have also green shells of macroons ready, these will be pistachio taste. I just haven’t had time to make the cream filling. I also made pavlovas base, the merengue that you put some nice cream and mad amount of various berries on top. My cafe is famous for the macroons and pavlovas. People come from other end of the country for them, eat on spot and take few to go. So I try to have official opening of cafe on this Saturday, 1st of June. Maybe will do a little TikTok live from the day too.
I was not very happy the other day as I discovered thiefs had been there and broke into my house some time between Tuesday and Thursday. My neighbour told me he noticed just that one door was partially open. But as there was no movement otherwise he did not pay much attention. Now, that’s totally ok, but I have another bit of this story. So I went to my cottage to clean up and make the cafe part tidy and ready, set the building tools, garden stuff etc away. I figured I shall enjoy some alone time (as if there is any other time
) and stay for night. I can only stay for night at summer as there is no heating yet. I have stayed at winter too but that requires at least 1 litre of rum and I have become a tad weak in this field over the past few years. You know, drinking alone is frowned upon among “decent” people. What I am saying I have no interest in being alone in -20C house where snow is as high as myself and nightcratures strolling around, and me being drunk. It’s just not worth the pills in the morning. And I am hilarious without alcohol, so not really essential.So what happened that day. I arrive. I immediately see open door. It is old barn door type of thing that is closed from inside with two hooks. First tought was that someone is inside, maybe sleeping. You know, someone on the journey to some place. I park my car and actually enter from that open door because I know other doors are not possible to exit from as they are locked with proper locks. I enter and run my eyes over the first room, then second. I notice some of my tools are at the door. Leafblower, professional hoover, some saws, which all are usually neatly on their shelves or in their places. Anyways, I see all my stuff is intact, even coffee machine, the one that is barely alive, and the glamping tents that are on the second floor with some more tools like table saw, trimmer, full set of tyres. But I know they have now investigated all the belongings because I see the stuff has been moved. Just mere 2 centimetres, but I see these things. I have always seen even slightes changes like that. Vase on the table was moved 3 centimetres to left. I know, I am nuts. In a nice way. So they have found all tools, they know the access, they will be back.
I close the door they have opened. Take my stuff and go behind the house to do the gardening bits that have been on the list for the last month or so. I clean gigant pots for tomatoe plants, I dig out my rowan in the pot that is waiting to be planted, and also one oak that I found in forest last summer when picking mushrooms. I did not think it would survive, but here we go, it has nice set of strong leaves! Then I fed the stray cats that come when they hear me coming. I bought them some nice food, for kittens. These kitten ones seem to be more nutritious and tasty and I know for sure one of the cats has kittens, so she needs some more energy to get around. Then I was fighting with the stupid robot lawnmower that can’t get into the charging position into its depot. Back and forth, telling me “low battery” and then it says “finished” and it goes out to work again! But it’s empty!!! I really want to beat the crap out of it, push force stop, put back into depot, wait, damn, it goes again. Damn!!! It’s fucking 15 kilos of sharp blades and I am really having it. The fuck is wrong with it again!?!! So, as the italian magic lawn mower robot is literally behaving like idiot I just unplug this sod and!!! Yes! Bring out my good ol’ Husqvarna lawn mower. The one you take out for a walk they say. No, it’s the one you have to push ’til you lose conciousness. It was +30C, which means 86F. I was livid, burning, pushing the mower and fighting with horseflies and mosquitos. Whatta day. Only pleasure.
After full day of lovely bliss I finally figured how to seal the fucking barndoor. I took two boards that I have plenty as I am still building the sauna and the house. Took some 3 inches screws and boarded the door from inside. And no, I don’t really care these doors are 200+ years old. I bet nobody will notice anything “new” on their surface. So, after done that I was sweating like pig and went to garden to pour some water on me. Yes, I still have only hose water from the lake. Freezing cold. As I was wearing bikini there was not much hassle. I calmed down, laying in the sun, wet. I figured after all those fights it’s time to eat that mozzarella salad that I took with me for dinner. I did not even desire beer after being greeted with open doors. This is unusual for me, especially in heat and especially when I stay for the night. Anyways, heading for the front of the house now and what do I see!?! Car pulling an empty trailer wiggling into my front yard!!! With a guy from passanger seat giving instructions in russian and then seeing me shouting to the driver: “oh, let’s go, there is someone here!” Jumps into the car and off they go.
So the next 3 hours I spent moving all my valuables, building tools mainly, to a different locked shed. Slept in sauna, not happy. Some animals were galloping on the terrace so loud all night long I think I did not sleep more than an hour max.
More about my adventures next time. It’s again night time now and I gotta get some sleep!
stay tuned!
PS I have a pan.
XOXOX
-
97 seasons greetings!
So hello, everyone!
I am, partly very happy, partly pissed off. On my self. You know what?! I made zero macroons for cafeteria. Which means I did not open it today, Saturday. Instead, I enjoyed weather, water, and planting some seeds for summerflowers. Carried out myΒ terrace furniture which weighs a ton, which is good because then nobody can steal it without a lot of hussle. It’s Finnish production, so heavy I needed neighbour to help me. My Kamado egg is still inside the house because this thing weighs another ton and I can’t really ask neighbour to help with this one. Sort of embarassing that one. You see the Kamado grill is as big as me and on wheels, that bit is good. Inside the house with nice even floor it’s just a bliss to move around, you can just handle it with one hand. Outside, however, I have no smooth pathway from the door to the terrace. It’s just natural grass and that means it’s all the way one big struggle as the wheels are just tiny compared to the sort of holes in the grass and therefore get stuck in there easily. To get it into the house was truly an event. You see the egg is ceramics, round piece of thing, and it sits in sort of a metal frame. Loosely. It’s so heavy you can’t get it out of the frame because it’s heavy, roundy and has no handles. I have seen in Youtube few surveillence videos where some iditot tried to steal one Kamado grill. That one poor bastard!!! So to give you an idea the Kamado grill comes in, I think 5 sizes. I have the XL which is enough to serve 14 people at once. You know, put some meats in, some breads, some veggies etc. There are several levels of racks you can use depending on what you do. I have so far used only two levels and pizza stones. On sides it has two lovely foldable desk kind of things, where you can put your stuff. So the S size is lovely tiny Faberge egg that yoy can have on your tabletop even (well, if you are crazy enough then even indoors, but it’s highly recommended against it). So S size egg serves two people easily, two stakes fit in, and it’s literally the size of carry on suitcase. You can lift it. Woman can lift it. It has the cute metal frame around and wheels too. Like a toy for kids :). Next M size serves up to 6 people. L serves up to 10 people, XXL probably up to 18 or 20 people… Something like that. I don’t really remember the details but you get the point that my XL egg is huge. And because it’s metal and some 5 centimetres thick ceramic it’s heavy as fuck. All together it weighes 320 kilos or something. Two people struggle tremedously to move it on grass path. Back to the idiot now who, as I am fluent in Russian, was russian and he decided the Kamado egg he saw at random luxury home makes a good addition to his fishing joint. Think no more, he went into the yard, managed to open the gates somehow. Remember, it’s a high end house, cameras every corner, and the entertainment ensued. The idiot, let’s call him Vasja, just learned to use smartphone and he had seen those huge eggs there. He is half wild still and does not know what cameras are. By the looks of it he is in his forties or fifties. He stares at few cameras really with his numb end empty stare. He is not drunk, dear everyone. That is his normal look. So he tries to move the egg. Well, it has wheels. He ain’t no dumb, ya all (read it with hillbilly accent for better impact). Well the egg moves nicely. Until the fucking stairs. Just two or three steps. He ain’t no dumb. He seen things fall from stairs in the smart phone (he is written without ‘s on purpose, read again with hillbilly accent). Even though Vasja is russian the hillbilly accent suits well because he is russian hillbilly and talks funny. So he studies the thing and realises the egg moves in the metal frame. Well, think no more! He grabs the egg, lifts it up. The egg is as big as the mans body. Sorry, Vasjas body. Gets down the stairs. And then tries to move fast to the gate he managed to open earlier. His car is right there. But the car is Zhiguli. Those are prehistoric heaps of junk that have just key. If they have. Sidenote> we used to switch them on without any key…. you know, down there you just pull some wires and voila!… Anyways, back to Vasja. He is holding the fucking egg as his life is depending on it. He dumb dumb! In his immense greed he did not open the trunk of his car. Worry not, he turns around and goes back to put the egg back into the metal frame. First. Then Vasja runs back to the Ziguli and with some minor struggling opens the trunk. He runs back into the yard and lifts up the huge egg again. He is overweight, did I tell you? He is as round as the egg too. Vasja last saw his dick 22 years back. Vasja now walks slower, he is sweating like pig and he really needs to wipe his face but he can not. He turns back and slowly walks to the metal frame. Barely makes it. Slowly slides the egg back into the frame, wipes his face viciously, pissed off about the amount of unluck he has. He is bending over to gather some breath, hands on his knees. Breathing heavily he pulls himself for last attempt to get the fucking egg into his car. From his face there is no more enthusiasm. You can see he hates his life. But he is not the one to give up. He lifts the egg up and starts again walking towards his car which has the trunk open. He will bring lovely and one of a kind piece of equipment to his village, he will be da boss, man!Then the security car approaches. Did they see the funny thing in their cameras while they were driving to the location of alert? I don’t know but they had their cameras ready as if they knew it’s the most hilarious thing they will ever see.ΒThey ask: Vasja, where are you going with that egg now?ΒVasja, being thick and still pretty wild as he is from the countryside where toilet means hole in the ground, he answers I found this lovely egg that was shown on my smartphone and taking it home. Can you imagine my luck, comrades!?The security guys burst into laugh. And one said: well, that damn egg is mine so I want you to return it.Vasja, in shock starts to RUN and manages to make four steps and drops this fucking ceramic gigant egg onto the ground. It breaks into huge junks. Which was very sad to see, because this junk ain’t cheap!!All of this encounter is on video from many sides and it ends when Vasja tries to run away with his Ziguli. Beat the Skoda. The mighty Skoda π and fails miserably. In the end it says Vasja got two years in prison.ΒLong story short. Don’t leave your eggs without supervision. That’s why I carried it in in the end of season and now I have to figure out how to get it back out without another Vasja coming to steal it. Because they once tried!!Anyways. Good nite for now. Tomorrow (or actually today already) I will be doing florist work again. And hopefully, really hopefully those macroons in the evening will start coming out.XOXOX -
96 damn again!
Nothing.
Nothing but beer and running nose. I had to work today and it resulted in running nose even though I had my winterjacket on. Yes, it was 16C today. Yes, I keep winterjacket on even in summer because the premises I work are like refrigerators. So for whatever reason I again ended up ill after full workday. Sucks big time.
Tomorrow lab work. Which means I will be wearing civil clothes ;). Nothing interesting there. Made a TikTok about my labwork some time ago, really boring if you are not into worldwide logistics stuff. Or into chockolate. Or into green coffee. Things like that. I was born into these kinds of stuff. I love sea, trucks, tracktors, planes, cranes, oh, cranes!!! I do realise these kinds of stuff are boring for normal people, but I can just stare at screen and watch huge container vessels berthing hours and hours!
It promises to be summer temperatures from tomorrow on. I would like to see that. I have to start baking macroons now, maybe tomorrow eve already. Because the money is really tight and that means I have to open the cafeteria at the summercottage. More TikToks there! The idea is to have it open every weekend throughout summer. And the first bigger party already was on 1st of May with hundreds of people coming but….. but I did not manage to open that day. I had the house full of cocoa and had to get rid of it. I also have to clean it yet because there are literally maple leaves covering the floor. For those wondering what the fuck are maple leaves doing inside the house: it is a 202 years old house this year. And it has original doors. With plenty of ventilation above and below. Ventilation in this case means there are 5 centimetres gaps all around the doors. This gaps mean also that I have bird, toads and other creatures inside the house every now and then. Plus the toads, as I have written earlier, come into the house every autumn to settle for hibernation. And in spring when I leave the doors open to ventilate even more π they wake up and start slowly moving outwards. It takes them about 2 weeks to realise it’s wakiwaki time. The toads are very thin by spring, moving and breathing slowly. Luckily they are not afraid of me (or mayebe they are, but they are not quite in condition to run, aren’t they:) ), so I can take them up with my hands and they do not piss allover me anymore. I usually help them out of the house and take them to some place with shade. So they will slowly wake up, gather their act up and not get much trauma from sun.
So this year the house will be 202 years old. It is rather uncommon for private person to live in such unique house here as most of these kinds of houses are way too expensive to run. And so is mine. I have no heating, no running water and that is why I don’t mind if toads are sleeping all winter there. There is literally snow inside during winter (remember the “ventilation” gaps under the doors). I have invested huge sums into this but being single handedly alone restoring it, while running two businesses, and household, and being single mom takes it’s toll. Oh, it will be pretty once it’s completed!
I was hoping to get water in this year, together with building a bathroom-toilet but hell, I again have just 200 Eur left for the whole month and it’s just 13th!!! I am doomed. So I already see no water, no toilet, no kitchen in my cottage for unforseen lenght of time. Which means no income from this house either. Just in case the reader is new to my blog thing or in case I actually have not introduced the cottage earlier. The grand final for the cottage is to be small luxury boutique hotel with four, maybe five rooms, kitchen, sauna, etc. Two years ago I built sauna house separately by the lake. Now this is stuck aswell because I have no money to complete it. Floor is not done, hence there is no stove nor water in yet. It has lovely sleeping room though, very nice fresh air. I slept like teddy there until some animal came knocking on the terrace at sunrise at about 3 at night!
All in all I hope I get the fancy french-themed cafe running more regularly this year, every Saturday. At least to cover some costs. However I already know I have to invest (yes, the money I don’t have) into new coffee machine as the old one is giving up on me since ever. That means I have to find coffee machine within few days now…. How to get coffee machine for 1200Eur if I only have 200Eur beats me.
That’s why I have to start with macroons tomorrow, get the sides ready and filling I can make later on and put the macroons together and pack already in the cottage while we are open.
So the daydreaming is gone now. Again. I assume everyone realises there will be no Cannes filmfestival for me. No Nice, no Italy. For 200Eur whole month to survive is a challenge. And to get roundtrip flight to Nice is 300Eur, so i am a bit short of money π¦ I also suppose I can’t live on the streets there even though it’s nice and warm. Just have to hope the orcs will not attack us yet. Imagine having 200Eur to run away to other end of the world, with cats and kids. Not interested in such excitement.
Today again all our online banking was down, apparent cyber attack from orcs. Yes, we are famously the pain in their arse since ever. I love being in such list. Why don’t they just get busy at isnotreal and hack all the terrorists into halves, by the go also free Palestine from squatters. They would collect nice plus points.
Spare with me. Take a look at film “Island in the sun” from 1957 with gorgeous Harry Belafonte starring. He is 30 years old in this movie. Gorgeous! No more words needed. Just rum, island and sunshine.
Stay hot and cool
XOXOX
-
95 daydreaming
Who would like to go out to some fancy restaurant with me? Before would take a stroll on the beach. You know, to build up some appetite. Have some roseΛ on the beach…. Then get to that seaside restaurant to enjoy passing cruise liners, sunshine and waves. Order some oysters as a starter. Then order some oysters as main. And then few more oysters as a dessert. Anyone?
I would sing you some nice tunes all the way from one end of beach all the way to the restaurant. Like Harry Belafonte Banana boat song, then Jamaica farewell, Scarlet ribbons, then speed up a bit with Man smart, woman smarter π Some funny stuff too, like most of Rosemary Clooney songs. And some from Leonhard Cohen. You load 16 tons and whaddu you get! Another day older and deeper in debt! Louis Prima, just a gigolo π …. Anyone?
I promise I am all fun, and only fun!
Aah, I was told I should be, this time, for first time in 25 years!, be invited to restaurant. That’s a bummer because so far, for the last 25 years, I have not ever, NOT ONCE, qualified to be invited to restaurant. Now to think, it’s rather sad, no? I have always been inviting, treating everyone, everyone I considered friends, a few men I considered I loved (read>I was blinded). I was never invited to restaurant. Am I twat? Why I do not qualify? Am I boring? Am I not worthy? Am I the richest among my people? I am not rich whatsoever.
Today I drove 300 kilometres to deliver food aid to a total stranger. I am not sure I have written about it or not, so just to be clear. I stumbeled across Facebook post some 4 years ago, before the pandemic. That post asked for help for single mother of two who had responsibly paid all expenses, as one should, and now was facing hunger as not a penny was left for food. That post also explained in some details how this all happened. And also stated that the kids starting school in a months time had no clothes or school supplies due to that all difficulties. It struck (is that even a word?) me and I contacted the woman. The next thing I found myself on 4 hour shopping spree for this family, clothes, shoes, school supplies, and food. Delivering all this took another 3 hours. I know their names now. So last week she wrote me that they have again been unlucky as forced to help out her older son she gave all money to make sure her son has transport to work. He is now adult, by years, and has first real job in building site in other country. You know, taking away their jobs :). Last time I get stuff for them was I think…. before Xmas and then in February I guess. I don’t keep track. I only wish she would gather her stuff and move away from the shithole of a place she lives. But I can’t convince her ofcourse. No selfesteem, no dreams, no guts to take on new direction. Pity. So I just load up my car and go. It ain’t cheap. I spent 500Eur on todays trip and I am broke. I again, again broke. This fucking adulting drives me crazy.
This fucking war orcs started in Ukraine. These fucking orcs now threatening us, random cyberattacks on our airports, on our banking systems. Yes, we know it’s them. And because of them I have no income, and because of them I have to get my act together and leave my home. Empty handed? Fucking hell. I have built my home for 20 years now. Sell it? Yes, then I have no place to return. And I am not single person, I have to get my kids and move asap.
Not sell my homes and wait here til orcs come to kill us? No thank you.
I am pissed on every person speaking russian. I can’t help it. Them bastards living here singing praise to pootin, fucking poo in a fucking tin. Damn those cockroaches.
So how about you invite me to restaurant? I would invite as I used to, but I am broke.
Good nite
-
94 retirement plans, anyone?
Yes, I have been rebel all my life. I don’t take shite from nobody. And, if anyone succeeds with any shite (you know, putiting up a good act and me believing it) then I cut the ties promptly and with no mercy. That is valid for everyone. If you try to fool me, be ready. If you lie to me, that’s the last you ever see me. And that is fair. Don’t waste your time nor mine. So that tirade was to tell you I am pretty black and white, no gray. It also means when I start something I carry it to the end.
For instance I promised one guy I was dating some years ago, that I shall pay for his dentist once he gets the guts to go and do the bits he needs to be doing. Well, dentist here is not free of charge like all the rest of the medical aid (probably the only good things about life here is the free medical and free education). So I said that when we broke up – hence – he lied. So far he has not had guts to start the dental “journey” and that’s fine with me. He probably will not have guts to remind me that promise either :). But, if I ever find out he has done the missing tooth then I shall send the money. I keep my word.
So now I am prepping for my retirement. Early retirement that is. Running business is like hobby, and that is what I love to do and need to do anyway. But I will step back from anything I do not like. And that stepping back from nasty work I do every now and then means I need some other income. Did I tell you my first choices for higher education were aviation and law. However, both of these were only teached 3 hour drive away from the capital city where I live. Because of the distance that was impossible for me to cover daily or even on distance study I never got degree in law. Because I had 3 jobs in order to survive there was no way I could accomodate university that far away. I simply had no means, no family to support no place to live. If I were to move to the other city I would be without income, without place to live and in addition in a place I knew nothing about. Yes, education is free but I would still need to live somewhere and possibly eat something? So I had to postpone the two dreams of mine. Until now.
I entered the training/ school for private pilot. Imagine. Next year I will have my licence. And imagine that: today I paid my last 47Eur for MacDonalds meals. I have 1.79 on my account. And the month just started. Have you ever heard of anyone more optimistic than me? The pilots licence cost a fortune and I have no money for this weeks food even. Crazy? Sure. I am not right in the head for usual boring common people. However, that might be only because I know the goal. My goal is to be pilot and that would make me almost as flexible, multitalent, like Iron Maidens Bruce Dickinson :):):):) except I speak 6 more languages :):):):). Why, oh, why, you ask. Let me tell you, this is my retirement plan. I will have licence for European flights so this will be my little income when I move to Italy or Nice, ideally somewhere in the middle there. This neighbourhood will take away all my ailments, my mood will be excellent just like now after two days in the garden and full sunshine. It’s really incredible what sun does to nordic people. Literally cures us!
So I shall retire within few years and fly around for fun and games. That’s my plan and I sure will complete it. The goal that is. Only 20 years later but who cares :), I still am goal oriented person π
Garden is now almost fixed. Planted my long waiting maple tree today in a place where birch did not quite survive from last year. Weather forecast promises snow tomorrow, on 8th May, snow!? We will see. It is sort of a rule that the night freezes are common right until the end of May. In the end on May all tomatoe plants are said to be safe outside, potatoes can be planted etc. So in few weeks I will have one more round of planting everything. Currently all my plant babies are at my flat, in my bedroom…. I sleep with my plants. Now how to survive that excitement π
Stay cool and warm
XOXOX
-
93 π¦
I lied.
It has been three days already and I have not had the guts to go to shop to find new pan. So I lied in last post that I will go and get new pan. I mean, I have interesting life!!! Worry about pan is the worst task I have :), the most challenging. I now stare at the second fucking pan that started rocking some week ago. Dreadful day is coming. It is coming the moment that second pan cracks into pieces. Oh, I don’t want to go to shop. Because then there is the shelves filled with fancy bits that I start to observe and then there is tens of pans to choose from and I get agitated. Just give me one and have it over…. but no, all the pans look so fancy and once I am there I need to study each one of them and then choose one. Because I live in the active hellhole of a country then in addition to being annoyed of shopping due to too many people going to these places I am also very poor. So I want to study each fucking pan that there is and pick the one that I will moan about for the next 4 or five months. Moan, you say? Yes, I shall moan for many a months because 100Eur is like weekly food allowance for 4. And that, my dear, means I am forced to lose 100Eur on a fucking pan. Which means I could end up having nothing to PUT on this fucking pan in some time in the nearest future. And that, my dear, is called alternative cost. I know it because I have masters degree in finances ;). Yes, irony, irony is my middle name.
So there are many reasons I have been avoiding shopping for a pan. People, cost of the pan, too big choice and still everything is too expensive, I have 2 more pans to survive. Shopping for me has always been last, really last effort. When nothing else to remedy the need. Does not matter whether shopping for clothes, food or anything really, it is dreadful and sometimes literally painful thing. I get weird rashes on my body when I have to spend more than 10 minutes in shop. I know, I am truly every mans dream girl! I get this rash and nausea everywhere BUT fishing store and building materials store (read: second reason I am every mans dream girl).
Now something about today. Thursday after day off. Day off was 1st of May. Whatever the reason it’s off, I applause. In soviet era that was the first official day every orc living here got severely drunk and slept on the roadside (or even in the middle of the road) and nobody minded at all. For locals it was just random day when it was possible to do own yardwork or just do fuckall all day. Working hours (or arse hours as we call them) were sacred. 8-17, not a minute less. Usually, if at all any changes, it changed to 8-18. So today I had workday. Horror ensued. For the ones fainthearted this next will be about anatomy of a female, so scroll on if needed. So, for all my life I have known my body pretty well, no surprises there, no religious crap was forced on us, no mysteries, just plain anatomy. Yes, I have have few things I do for living. I am florist part time, which means I only work when I have orders. Usually 2 or 3 days in a week. And then I have one job that is highly physical and it is outside in ports, with no toilets which means I can not drink during the day. So today I had that work in port. Yesterday my period started. That means today was THE day when I had to change every hour minimum. Change what, you might ask…. Change the bits that hold the blood from splashing around on floors and all surfaces possible including myself. That meant I had to prepare so that I can do the job without going to toilet. And I had to make sure I go to toilet on lunchbreak. I measured today it takes me 8 minutes to get to the toilet. 8 minutes one way. Then few minutes for sure inside. Then 8 minutes back. And that meant that I had to eat on the go. Literally when walking. But that is not all. I left home at 7, started work at 8. That means one hour gone. I should have changed at 8 but that was not possible. So it’s 9, then already 10. I feel blood leaving my body as the tampon was more than full. I curse the world and keep on working because I can not leave my post once the process goes. And I can not cancel nor stop because whole factory depends on this. So I feel tampon peeping out of its nest and blurting blood it does not want to take in anymore. Dreadful and disgusting. For a moment I think about taking the tampon out right there and then but I search for napkins or tissues in my pockets and there are none. So I know the tampon is about half out already, not taking in any blood anymore, on the contrary, blood is flowing everywhere. So it is rather painful when this stupid tampon is half way out. I waddle around like penguin, luckily I have full wintergear on because it is very cold and windy, no matter whats the season. I am pretty sure the tampon escapes any minute now and I know where it will go: down by my legs right until it hits my socks or even worse, hits the floor.
Gross day. Got home exhausted and pissed off on world. From this hideous work, stress and loss of blood I barely made it to home, took immedistely painkillers and paracetamol for the temperature I had by the time I got home. This is getting common now, every time I go to work I get ill. So, got home about 17 o’clock, ill, fell to bed and woke up at midnight. Felt like hangover, some strange feeling of haze, exhaustion and dizziness. I shall keep the rest of the boring stuff now….
Good nite,
stay warm
-
92, neeh, me nuts!
Going nuts seems the thing today. I discovered I am en route myself. That, ofcourse, assumes I am not totally crazy yet. One can’t go nuts if the maximum is already reached. Anyways. After strange furious weather that locked me in with way too many litres of beer and wine and not a help near π
I figured I need to entertain myself so I checked one old TV set in the corner. The batteries in the remote were all “boiling” with corrosion. Last I remember I watched this TV was some six years ago. I remember it well as I had a date that wanted to watch TV in the evening. So boring. Obviously it did not last. TV was just a minor reason for this abrupt ending. However. Stuck and bored myself now I wanted to see if this heap of crap still works. And, ladies and gentlemen, yes it works! It even has some ten or so channels on! So this damn thing together with too much wine made all chaos in my head which resulted in last post. I thought of deleting it at all but then figured I will keep it as a reminder. Less wine and no writing in haze π because it made no sense at all. I read my last post twice and don’t get what the fuck was I writing about. So, my apologies for this odd yapping tirade, but I hope it’s at least funny. I don’t promise I will not do that again tho.
My frying pan blew up today when I was searing salmon. Let me tell you, that now teached me one should NEVER wash the expensive pans in dishwasher. It says so on the paperwork even. But I, an arrogant white bitch, decided I know better. Yes, I used this pan carefully as it was expensive one. I used it for good four years if not more, I can’t really remember. I certainly had it before the mysterious pandemic hit. It was the expense I dragged long not to do. So once I gave in I chose the best I could. Whatever fancy non-stick coating, nice size, nice weight, everyting very pretty. The price was 70 Euros or so, for a fucking pan, you know. It could have been Fiskars, but maybe some italian fancy pan. I have a few that I use and one for sure is Fiskars. Anyways, I started to notice two of my pans are like rocking on the cooking range. For few days I thought it is due to too high heat which the same moment did not make sense because 7 out of 9 is common for any cooking. 9 is to get water boiling, 7 is perfect for meats, 6 is for eggs, so you know how this scale is…. So these two start to rock when I cook. I stare at them for few days, doing my dinners and thinking damn, these two are dead any day now. Dreading going shopping, I had gag reflex when thinking about yet another stupid cost that I can not avoid. I wish I could get skillet but they don’t sell them here. So I have to pick some Tefal or Fiskars or any fancy italian again. Fiskars now cost minimum 70Eur, with the lid it can easily be 100Eur. Dreading the unavoidable I today was searing fish, two pieces on this stupid rocking pan, me prepping my asparagus you know, splitting the wooden bit off them, when suddenly there was so loud bang by the stove I thought something blew up. I turn to see, and can’t get what was it. Nothing looked wrong, glass stovetop was ok, all four sections were ok. One tiny pot with lemonsauce, one with rice boiling, one just water waiting for asparagus to be put in. And fourth with salmon. I stare at the stovetop and then another BANG! right under my eyes the bottom half of the pan flew off!!!!!! I took my other rocking pan and fish rescue resumed. Got the fish into other pan, cleaned up the mess and threw the broken pan into the sink and poured over with hot water. Imagine if kids would have been doing some tacos or pancakes or other stuff on this freaking pan and that would have blown up into their faces. Damn. So there will be some shopping tomorrow. Which I do not like one bit. But…. Dinner turned out very nice, as always. Always have trout not salmon, if possible. And always have fish together with green veggies. This way your body gets the best of A, E and D vitamins. A and E are very difficult to get with food because they need eachother to “activate”. That means if you have just fish and say, potatoes, then you will most probably not get all possible E vitamins from fish. You surely get some, but the fish and green veggies work wonders together. I always prefer asparagus but it’s incredible price when not in season. Nothing less but 8Eur per bunch. So if that is not very popular financially then I take the turkish beans which are like butterbeans but green. If that gets boring I take simple brokkoli. I always toss them into boiling water and only for 5 minutes, this way they are crunchy not soggy. Then water out of the pot and in goes the best bit – butter. Keep it on heat and toss around til the butter has melted. With years of practice I have perfect timing on this dinner. Every bit is ready – lemon sauce, green veggie or rice, fish – right there and then and hot for plating. Rice is for younger generation. Instead of the veggies which for them equals death…. Which makes me wonder because in restaurants they eat everything π including veggies in any colour π
So tomorrow I shall buy new pan. And no matter what anyone tells, I shall never put the pans into dishwasher again. Because I know how much my lazyness costs me. What an exciting post it is! π
Last bits of snow today. It’s 10C but the last bits of snow are still here. The hills of snow must have been very high as the leftovers are kneehigh now. Last week was odd with this weird snowstorm out of a blue. Luckily my tulips did not mind much and the garden looks splendid already with all the yellow, pink and red tulips. I hope narcissus will come out soon too. Trees are getting green, frogs and toads are awake. One of my in house toads came out just on Saturday. It was barely moving, body looked like it should have been dead but slowly moving skin on the back when it was breathing…. lungs (? they have lungs right?). The first one came out two weeks ago. They both sleep in my cottage, god knows where exactly but they are inside. Probably hibernating under my treasures as I do not disturb them at all in winter. I see them getting in in autumn so I stay away already then. So the second one looked very thin, it was very slow too, so no struggle to catch it. I put it by some greenery by the lake and after a while it was gone into the lake. Until we meet again in October or so. By my cottage door. I shall let them in.
Stay hot and cool, everyone!
Enjoy life and wash pans by hands only!
-
91 what did I just see in TV?
So please everyone tell me I am going nutters and seeing things. Because it is too many coincidences to be just randomly piled up and thrown into my face now.
Jim Burtons new film, due in autumn, features a nasty figure played by Kate Winslet. And the trailer features one of my favourite songs from my favourite artist of all times, Harry Belafonte. Day-O, Banana song. Are you trying to tell me that’s a coincidence? Why was I not a cast of this movie? I am fluent in 5 languages and that includes Russian…. I don’t know if that is in the movie but why, why, why I was not summoned…. How now, can this song, be something used in a film? The song nobody knew. The song I sang years and years, day to day just like every other Belafontes song that I know by heart and was in my life since I was homeless. You know, Scarlet ribbons, hava nagila (the banned one now due to them squatters-jews running genocide in a country, oh, occupied by themselves?!?), Jamaica farewell…. That same song was idle for 40 if not 50 years. Now it’s again important? After I stated it in my blog here? After I wrote here about the few artists that kept me alive when I was homeless? Am I losing it or is somebody following my blog and taking bits from it into films? Tell me I am losing it. Hell, I needed that job. And I sure need the next job! I need to be that Russian speaking evil. Or slow one, blonde and a tad dumb, speaking Finnish. Or arrogant Estonian, the small and feisty. Anything!!! I can speak, in fact also Greek, Polish, French, Italian, if needed! Just give me a week!! Just last week I was searching for job in France and reading the ads, IN PLAIN FRENCH!!! And I understood everything. Yes, my pronounciation is probably nothing the real French would understand but I can learn fast. And my Russian is clean and very much without accent. Shame I was not cast for this. Shame. So I can still get to the next movie by Burton or Depp himself? Where to come for casting?
Am I delulu or is the next film going to feature something from Rammstein? Or another run of Belafonte? Pardon me, but I sure feel a tad off now after seeing the trailer of Burtons new movie.
Hey, Johnny, the book draft I sent you, the things happening there are happening IN DEEP SOVIET OCCUPIED country, not Italy, not France. We still have the perfect apartments for the scenes, with all furniture and stuff intact for the last 40 years. I mean, they are kept like that for exactly all sorts of serials and films that require the backround to be from 1970s or 1980s. Just tell me I am going nuts and the new set is not what you were looking for in Italy?
That’s too bad to be true if you using my draft for film without me being part of it. I truly hope I am getting nuts in this case.
Really delulu here. Tell me I am off my rocker and the above is not the case. Because my story certainly needs me in it.
Sorry for the short crazy yapping.
Stay warm and cool.
-
90 damn Fridays!
Yes, Friday was workday. Obviously. As for any commoner. Dreadful workday in fact. One that pissed me off big time. I went in as usual for 9 o’clock. Ok, not usual. Usual is 8. This time they said they will have the stuff released 8 in the morning so it takes about 45 minutes drive to get to the destination. I left home at about 7.45 or so…. I don’t really know but my plan was to sleep in the car until the job started. I have been doing it many times. Not always because of work or exhaustion. I get hit by strangest thing on earth every now and then. I drive, I am ok, and then suddenly I have no control over my eyes and will. Eyes just close, I barely make it to some random parking lot and I just fall asleep. It always a close call!! I barely make it and I am scared as hell when it’s going on but I can’t help it. Few times in the past I fell asleep on the highway. Luckily we have sort of a highway that has no barriers everywhere so one can stop where are no barriers. I count not quite make it once and I was sleeping 4 hours on the roadside under the high voltage line. I could not go any further, not even 100 metres, not 500 metres. I don’t know what it is. I am just suddenly extremely exhausted and I can’t keep my eyes open. All I know is that I have to stop immediately and next moment I already wake up 4 or 6 or even 8 hours later. I slept in my car in random parking lots, on highway roadside, in hypermarket parking lots, in forest, by sea, by school, at work too. It’s strange thing I thought it would be some sort of insomnia but I have not diagnosed it yet. It happens maybe once a month so I can not really catch it and report it to my doctor.
But that dream of sleeping for another hour or so was not one to come true. Aswell as did not come true the initial plan of working 2 hours and then heading home or heading to other location for other work. The “fun” part was they decided in the morning that they will need me for whole day. Well, I don’t really mind that, I have been flexible and ready for such hiccups my whole life. What pissed me off was they knew already on Wednesday that they will have to complete everything on Friday and they still did not tell me. So that resulted me having no lunch with me. And I restrain from drinking because there are no toilets. Or, the toilets are far away from my location. So I felt how I was drying up the longer I was there. And to put a cherry on top – it started snowing. Which means the temperatures dropped into minus. So, hungry, not well slept, freezing my arse off in this fucking end of the world. I was not happy. Not even close. When we completed the work I was sitting in my car for good 10 minutes to get some warmth into my frozen arse. It takes me one hour to get home from this location. I was so pissed off on the whole world, drove home, took off boots and went straight to bathroom to run bath. Took two shots of JΓ€germeister and sat into hot water with some salts and oils. From my condition I knew if I don’t do this “procedure” I would fall ill rather badly. Only after the bath I was able to face the world again. Which meant prepping late dinner and being pissed on the world once more for a different reason. The reason is I don’t do dinners after 18 in the evening. In summer the latest time when I have some food is maybe 21. But again, it’s not summer yet. And now I have been facing the reality of world working against me with the dinners. I can tell you one can not peel potatoes or sear some meat when hands are barely moving. So I had to sit in the bath to become functional again. Oh, I hated that Friday. I hate when my genious plan of never eating after 18 fails. And last week it failed every fucking day. I probably have to switch to summer schedule now earlier because of the stupid client. My only happiness comes from the fact that this client pays by hour. Including driving time. That makes this client the most profitable for me. So I smile and make some stupid jokes about “who needs to rest anyway” or “who in the right mind would fly out for a long weekend on Friday noon” etc. The bit that is now yet pissing me off is that I have to go to the same place on Monday morning too, because apparently, if I don’t go the factory will stop working because they run out of materials by Monday morning. Just in time delivery, yes, and I have to go in again. Luckily they will be fast on Monday because they don’t want to be guilty for the factory shutting down because of them!
So snow. Yes, snow. In spring. Whole worlds weather is fucked up. Floods in Emirates, in fucking desert, camels drowning. In desert, people! Earthquakes in places earth is never quaking, floods in deserts, volcanoes spitting shite out, snow, oh well, snow we always had but cmon! enough already!! They predict the northern part of Europe will have weather that currently is in Turkey. Well, I can tell you what’s the weather like in Turkey – it’s a vacation forever weather. That means you are not quite able to work in this kind of heat.
Part of me likes changes a lot. On the contrary to the common view and opposition that pushes people out of their comfor zone. I love to test myself, to adjust to new. I am probably a tad more adventurous compared to average person. But most of all I like changes in business, work, things like that. l love progress. That is why I could not stay on the island either. The island where I am from is stagnating place. Nothing changes. And this stagnation was suffocating me from the early stages of my life. Especially painful once I turned into teenage years. I despised the teachers that did everything the way soviet era told them to. Disgusting spineless hags. Some of them actually praised on the fucking Lenin and telling nonsense about how great out “fatherland of Soviet union” was. They could not stand the change. For instance when we became free from this horror union one of the chemistry teachers started drinking so heavily I vaguely remember her sleeping on the stairs in front of the school. Probably drank til death. Which was pretty common these times anyway. Because not everyone could adjust to new life of freedom, of starting business, of having real estate, of owning a real big farms and way more than 2 cows. Being able to buy car!!! And now you did not need permission from Moscow to buy a car!!! And above all: you could buy a car that was not Zaporozets, Zhiguli or Moschwitch!!! Good grief! You had freedom to leave the island for the first time in life without permission, without registering your travels, within our own country!, at the militia station!!! Imagine that!!! All those changes for sure were hard on many. Most of them got used to the generous life they had. After university they were sent by the orcs to some destination over the “great fatherland of soviet union”, given job and given accomodation. Usually by kicking out local owner of the house. Ofcourse the orcs liked it. Everything was free. The locals who were kicked out went to live by relatives or such. So we had those bastards in our country aswell, who then, ofcourse, demanded we speak Russian. This was to kill our language. In some occupied countries they even burned all schoolbooks that were in local language. And brought in books in Russian. With modified history :). As far as I know that book burning happened in Ukraine and in Lithuania. Maybe we were partly saved because we are one of the smallest countries that was occupied by orcs, hence we were not that much of a threat for the “great soviet union”. So some traitors who were praising the great occupying forces obviously hilghly disliked that we became free from occupation. All the same year, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Ukraine got rid of the bastards. However, them bastards did not leave. Many of them were obviously settled here like fucking jews (and wannabe jews without ANY jewish blood miles ahead) in Palestine. Just like in Palestine. Given or just took our homes and settled as fucking cockroaches. The name for the orcs who settled here taking our homes was, yes, you guessed it right, cockroaches! The milder version was “onion” or “cebula” or “luk” in many languages we used this to talk about occupiers. They only now found out we were using these names because, hold on, they never learned our respective languages!!! So we could speak about them right in front of them, talk shit about them, and they would smile, them cockroaches! Hilarious! And they tell even today they had no reason to learn because all the occupied (note> they call us “rescued people”) people spoke in Russian. Today some old bastards who have visas to live in Latvia are being sent out of the country because even after living here for more than 40 years!!!! they are not able to speak more than 2 sentences in Latvian. Yes, they scream on the border that they have given whole life for Latvia, lived, paid taxes, made home, and we smile, we all smile and congratulate Latvia for having balls. Finally. At least one of us has balls. I hope our country also finds some. Soon.
I sure can yap hours about orcs, stupidity, arrogance. I need, yet again, learn something new. I must learn to ignore these. Ignore in order to save my own nerves. As me yapping does not change anything except takes away my energy. I despise stupidity, and I despise lies, thiefs and arrogance. Those 4 cover the main characteristics of our government. I have to ignore this shit and leave. It’s embarassing how blind we are, or, how we just turn the other cheek in silence. French would be on streets years ago. Polish would have flooded the ministries and government with shite long ago. We do what exactly? Let me tell you. The legend of us ever being rebel. There was a man whose wife died, cow died and the german lord told to the guy he owes him 50 more barrels of wheat…. The guy agreed not, was infact mistreated, went behind sauna, hit the wall with his fist and said out loud: FUCK! And went on to scrape and borrow the 50 barrels of wheat for the lord.
I wish we would not go behind sauna.
Love and all,
Stay cool and warm!
XOXOX
-
89 waiting
Suffering artist creates something.
I am not suffering so nothing comes out π
Let me tell you. Saturday and Sunday we had heavy rains, strong winds and cold weather. And you can guess what was today, on Monday, when commoners go back to their surviving modes called work…. Yes, you guessed right, bright sunny day!
So today is Thursday, for some 40 more minutes and then it’s Friday early mo. I took on a task and diluded one bottle of prosecco with my saliva and I must admit it worked. Hence I am here writing. Today we had snow. On 18th of April. Not only here but also in Austria, Latvia, maybe some more countries. The fun part is that part of our carowners have already changed the tyres from winter tyres to summertyres as the wintertyres are not allowed after …. I guess after 31st of March. Well, forbidden are the ones with pikes, not the ones just plain rubber. I don’t use the piked ones so I have no worry. Last year I never changed my tyres to summer ones and that in the end is just expensive and a tad dangerous on high speeds. Because the tyre rubber mixture is different for hot and cold season. Winter tyres are wider and softer to keep you smooth on the snow and ice. So by the end of August my wintertyres that I kept on were like the slick ones used for speedracing on superbikes π without ANY pattern! Luckily no police stopped me ad I am, in fact, perfect driver, so I feel my car well in any conditions. So we have to change the tyres back to winter ones by the end of October I guess. Whatever the date and time is I carried with my totally smooth slick old tyres to the last minute and changed to winter ones. Those winter tyres I now have on and that is why I was not much worried today when the fucking SNOW started it’s routines out of the blue. Yet, you know, you have to watch out for all of the other drivers who might be having the summertyres already. Because those cars have the tendency to ignore the driver π and go about the day the way they want. So within the day there were quite many accidents on the road. I myself saw on truck and trailer went through the barriers and was diagonally over the road. Luckily still standing and nothing but some hot lashes for the driver. Spring is also rather difficult time for any driver here as the animals are on heat and just last week one of my acquaintance caught deer on the way to home. Sort of lucky and sort of not much lucky for the deer tho. Deer bull died of the impact, but the car was not a passanger car but huge truck. So truck had just the minor things with the front. Not even radiator broke, only some plastic things. Sorry for the horny deer tho. After such accidents you still have to call out police so the insurance will pay for repairs. It is also recommended by all to keep slow. Yes, we know you are literally mr Schumacher in disguise, but all proper drivers keep a lot slower at night than allowed. Exactly for the reason of horny bulls jumping onto the highways. At night especially. But that is probably more valid for countries where is alot of forests and such. Yet we have encountered deer and moose in our true city centre, the centre of capital! We have part of our capital that has wild boar living in, that is one peninsula, some poor 2 kilometres from my place actually!! It’s also a peninsula where seabirds are under protection, some Natura or whatnot program. Nature preserv, nature park or how you call it in English…. So as no bird can be hunted or even scared off in spring as the nest there, also the wildboar quantity grew without nobody noticing until…. and yes, you guessed right!!! Until harsh winter came and they ended up having no food on this peninsula. And imagine that horror experience of the one and only business ran on this peninsula, the nightwatch of the watercleaning station. Imagine you just go to your nightshift, start at about 20.00 in the eve, all the way to 8 in the mo. Your duties is to check the perimetre of the “cleaning factory” which consists of some 10 huge barrels that are standing up and some more buildings and all around those buildings you have some 2 metres high fence. Your duties include staring at the screens on your desk and to make some walking rounds ALL AROUND the premises following the fence. You know, strolling along and trying to notice anything weird. So the 62 years old guard put on his jacket, did not bother with hat, nor taking his mobile phone and went along for the stroll as he had been going for the last 13 years or so. He figured he will be fast. It was not that cold, just – 9C. He figured he will give a quick stroll, come back, have a tea and stare at the screens for another 3 hours. 3 hours was the time after which he had to take another stroll.
As he figured he was about to do his fastest round.
He went out, followed the fence to the left wher is nothing important. But the had to check it. I mean, who on the right mind on earth would ever consider trespassing water cleaning station?? The shite cleaning station?? Because that is what it is! It’s all of our capitals shite running into the huge barrels and then being processed into clean water, piles of shite, some dirty water and what not. But it certainly has no value for common thief!!! Well, the procedures demand a stroll. So he went. He was able to get 150 metres away from the office when suddenly out of nowhere whole cattle of wildboar gathered literally around him. He is no dumb. He was well aware of the harsh weather this winter and guessed immediately that those 30-40 wildboar were hungry as fuck. Because they NEVER come close to human. Yet there they were. The cleaning stations specifics were somewhat strange featuring viewing platforms with 25 metres of height. Luckily one in each corner of the plant. So one was just some 10 metres away and that’s where he needed to go. He backed off towards the platform. Climbed the ladder-like stairs and …. yes, was stuck up there for the next 9 hours wihtout phone, wihtout hat, without gloves, without hope.
The wildboars never left. They waited. They had nowhere else to go or to be. The cuddled up waithing for their dinner. Or breakfast. He had no phone, no nothing. AND there is NOBODY checking on this plant at night. Because why would they as there in NEVER anything going on. The next shift is coming for 8 in the morning. So he had to survive roughly 9 hours. He had no exact clue what time it was but he could have guessed pretty accurate.
He was found in the moring on the viewing platform, sleeping. Or dying. He was barely alive. Taken to hospidal immediately he survived to tell the story. Initially nobody believed him because yes, everyone knew there were wild boar on that peninsula, but nobody had faintest idea how many. Last they knew were 7 adults that they counted. Imagine the surprise when they realised the adults were in fact mostly females and the one lucky bastard became a father for 50+ times over few years. City council had to get hunters in and eliminate majority of the cattle. They declared 41 wild boars caught. I mean killed.
This peninsula was and still is one of the two city beaches we have π and it’s used to max every “beachable” day in the summer. Again, the boar are safe and they do not attack people in general, especially in summer when there is plenty of food. So we go to beach every chance we get. I have seen the boars “home” in there once when I went around the peninsula on bike. First I did not see it per se, but boy I sure smelled it!!! That stink is beyond explanation. Come around and I shall show you!
Tuuduluu for now, stay warm and safe.
Off to sleep now as tomorrow is one last workday this week.
Love and all
XOXOX
-
Subscribe
Subscribed
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
The Mad Hatter 